Your Body's Poetry
by Dr Megalomania
Summary: Relationships are hard work. April 2020: This is incomplete but not abandoned. I will continue to update on AO3 and will eventually post the finished version here. I don't know how long that might take. Feel free to move to AO3 for chapter by chapter updates. Thank you for your patience.
1. Prologue: Where does love go to die?

**Disclaimer**: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

**Notes**: Relationships are hard work.

**Song**: Pink – But we lost it

* * *

_There's a stranger, he's lying in my bed_

_Kinda blank like the thoughts living in my head_

_This is the one that I felt that I knew so well_

_I think we had it but we lost it_

* * *

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

* * *

_Still the girl that you chased all around the world_

_I haven't changed, just replaced all the chains with pearls_

_I want the same things we did back then_

_I know we had it but we lost it_

* * *

**Prologue: Where does love go to die?**

* * *

Heero remembered where it happened. He was lying in bed with Relena, reading his eBook. He was sure it was a Sunday. She was drinking her tea, her phone in one hand. He was just about to turn the page when he heard the quiet sigh. He looked at her, and she was looking at him. Her small smile was at odds with her sad eyes. Heero put aside his eBook immediately and turned to her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Relena put her phone down on the bed and put her tea to one side. "No. That's not true." She closed her eyes for a long moment, "You are a perfect boyfriend. Just like you were a perfect knight in shining armour, just like you were a perfect soldier."

Confused, he tilted his head.

She shifted to her knees fluidly, and put her hand on his shoulder. "I love you, and I know you love me." She nodded, "But can we be honest?"

"Always."

"I think I love you like I love the idea of peace. I would do anything for you, and I know you'd drop everything if I asked you." She took a deep breath, "But I don't want to be in this relationship."

Heero thought for a long moment, looking at their bed before glancing at her in confusion. "What am I doing wrong?"

She gave a quiet, helpless laugh. "Nothing. You are always perfectly what I need." Relena pursed her lips together thoughtfully. "Don't you ever wonder if we would be together if you hadn't saved the world and I hadn't been queen of the world?"

Relena smiled as she caught the thought occur to him.

"You love me, I don't doubt it." She reached a hand forward and touched his cheek. "I love you as well but... can we both walk out of this relationship for a while? I ..." She pulled her hand back and looked down, "I kinda want to find out what it would have been like if I ..." She frowned as if she wasn't sure what to say.

Heero nodded, sitting forward. "Go on."

"If I had had a choice." She looked at him searchingly, "I did choose you, but don't you sometimes feel like we were always going to end up together?"

Heero gathered her hand and pulled it against his chest. "I don't know. I've always been taught to follow my emotions. It led me to you."

Relena's blue eyes were dry despite the sadness he could see. "I'm sorry. I..." She sighed, "Never mind."

"Relena." Heero squeezed her hand gently. "What does your emotions tell you?"

She looked at him, looked at her hand against his chest. She looked around their perfect bedroom. A smile surfaced on her face and she looked at him directly, "You are a great person, I'm a good person—"

"You are great."

She laughed shyly. "I'm a great person too. And I look at the way that Dorothy dotes on her wife, and I wonder if that I could ever dote on someone like that. You always take very good care of me, but could you want me, could I want you like Dorothy loves her wife?"

"If you want me to be—"

"That's the problem. Right there. You would. You would change yourself to suit my desire. I don't want you to change for me." Relena shook her head, "And I still love you, but it's not enough to make me want to force this change on you..." She nodded, "Or myself. I don't want to change for you." She pulled her hand away from him and pressed it against her chest, "I know that I feel like this isn't enough and I want to find someone who..." Relena's shoulders dropped in defeat as she spoke hesitantly, "Wants to love me because it's more than the right thing to do."

Heero held out his hands to hold hers, he stroked his thumbs thoughtfully over her skin and was grateful that she didn't try to say anything. He nodded finally, "I understand."

"You do?"

Heero smiled lopsidedly, "If I understood most of what I've read about being a good lover, I should imagine the thought of you leaving me should at least provoke some kind of emotional response beyond 'how do I make it easier on her?'." He laughed with her, opening his arms and hugging her. He felt her press her face against his neck and tightened his grip. "Thank you for being honest with me."

"Thank you for making my first breakup easier than I thought it was going to be." Relena pulled back enough to look him in the eye, "I hope that we can still be friends."

"Why wouldn't we be friends?"

Relena laughed brightly at Heero's sincere confusion.

* * *

Sally was sat in her car waiting for him. She winced as she watched Wufei's girlfriend take off the ring he's bought her last year. She watched as Wufei's girlfriend got up from the table, walking away with little more than a backward glance. She sighed as Wufei picked up the ring she'd left behind, and walked over to the car slowly. He got in and she looked at him with concern. "Are you okay?"

Wufei couldn't look at her. He stared at the ring he was turning in his fingers before admitting quietly. "She thinks I'm boring."

Sally let go of the breath she was holding, reached over and patted his clenched hand. "I'm sorry." Even though she'd known why Wufei was meeting his girlfriend here, even though Wufei had been prepared for this, it still made her hurt for her friend. He looked so small and young as he turned the ring in his hands over and over. She looked at his face, watching as a tremble passed over his lips.

It looked for a moment like Wufei was going to cry so she patted his hand again.

"You are boring," Sally reassured him gently, "But that's not a bad thing."

He stopped turning the ring over and slipped it into a pocket. Wufei smiled even as a tear squeezed past his defences. "You're supposed to be caring."

"I am caring." Sally said, affronted. "If she can't see past the starchy, regulation obsessed, 9pm bed time every night, Preventer on the streets," Sally nodded matter-of-factly, "Then she doesn't deserve the Gundam in the sheets."

Her blunt statement made Wufei laugh even through his weeping. He looked at her, dark eyes swimming. "Can you just drive please?"

"You got it," She started the car and indicated to pull out. "You want me to call anyone?"

"No." Wufei raised a hand and wiped at his face. He shifted his glasses back into place. "Quatre and Trowa will just insist on coming down, and Duo's got enough trouble with the scrap yard and…" He swallowed and looked out the window, "Who knows where Heero is now…" He swallowed, "I can handle this." He looked at her, "If you're okay helping me…" He swallowed thickly, "She's um… she's going away for a week, I need to uh… I need to move out."

"You can stay with me for a bit." Sally immediately offered, raising a hand when she could see him shaking his head out of the corner of her eye, "Shut up. Don't be ridiculous. You can stay with me! It'll be okay." She snorted, "It'll be just like after the war…!"

"I'm a legally recognised adult now, not your ward." Wufei chuckled with her, "I know it will be okay. You're… You're a great friend. Thanks for being here." Wufei stared out of the window, watching the street as it passed. His voice was so low that Sally almost had to strain to hear him, "She wishes I could be more spontaneous… but she didn't want to be stuck in a relationship with someone so… dull."

Sally frowned, a brief ripple of anger surfacing before she swallowed it. He didn't need fury yet. She pulled a smirk on her face, "You're a safe guy—"

"Still dull." He retorted quietly, deeply hurt.

"Well, yeah." Sally chuckled lopsidedly, "But you're going to be the right fit for someone, just gotta find someone who lights a fire in you." She reached out to mess up his neat hair, earning the expected growl. "Someone who deserves the Gundam in the sheets."

"Sal, will you—look, cut it out!" He shook off her hand sharply, making her laugh. "You!" He folded his arms and slouched in the front seat, "Gundam in the sheets," Wufei muttered, "Don't be ridiculous." He turned his head to look out the window, trying not to watch the tears tracking down his cheeks. "Light a fire? Huh."

Sally left him for a while. She knew him well enough that it was time to back off and let him stew for a few minutes. By the time they pulled up in front of his home, they'd made quiet plans for how to move him out. Planning always seemed to put a bit of colour into Wufei's cheeks. He pulled himself together, and got out of her car. He watched her drive away, and then slowly walked into the home he used to share with a girlfriend he thought he was going to marry one day.

Wufei closed the front door, and slid down until he collapsed on the floor. The tears just came, and he sobbed. All around him a life - that could have been if only he wasn't so boring - seemed like a pantomime. His breath came raggedly, and each breath didn't make it easier. He cried and cried, his heart broken. Wufei had been so sure that this one would work out. It hurt so much that she didn't even want to stay friends.

Wufei pulled out his phone and stared at the screen. He gave some serious thought to calling someone, anyone of his friends. The sight of his girlfriend on his lock screen was enough to steel him. He sat up straighter and crossed his legs. The tears weren't going to stop, but he could feel his resolve strengthening. He knew he had to change somehow. Dragging his sleeve over his face roughly, he opened his phone and emailed General Une, requesting a transfer to L1.

It was time to leave.

* * *

When he heard the door slam, Trowa looked up from his computer. Listening carefully, he heard low voices going back in forth angrily. He couldn't quite make out what was being said, but he heard could make out Iria's voice rising in apparent rage. Rolling his eyes, Trowa returned to work. Another Winner argument that Quatre had brought home with him. He'd leave them to it. Past experience had taught Trowa bitter lessons about trying to get involved with the Winners. Aside from Iria and Irina and possible Isabelle - though that was debatable - Trowa was not liked by the Winner clan. Many of Quatre's sisters didn't understand why Quatre might continue a relationship with an ex-soldier - never mind that Quatre himself was an ex-soldier.

Trowa paused and rolled his eyes at himself for allowing his attention to wander. He settled down and returned to his work. The new schematics Hilde had sent were complicated but not impossible. She'd employed him for a consult, and he fully intended to get them out of the way before the weekend. There'd be no chance to focus during the Winner Family Gathering. At the last gathering, a month ago, Marianna had gone out of her way to spend quality time with him. Mostly taking the chance to ply Trowa with baseless rumours that were purely designed to break their relationship up. Irina had saved him from it in the end by way of blazing row. It had not assured Trowa's place in the family at all.

Somewhere in the home, a door slammed and Iria's voice rose in complete frustration. "YOU THINK THAT EXCUSES YOUR BEHAVIOUR?!"

Trowa glanced up from the schematics. Iria was normally always on Quatre's side. It was rare for her to lose her temper with him. They were arguing too far away from Trowa's study for him to make out Quatre's response. Rising smoothly from his desk, Trowa took a moment to save his work and then wandered out to the hallway. Iria suddenly sounded much clearer as she slammed open a door. "PERHAPS YOU SHOULD LET TROWA DECIDE! HOW DARE YOU! I'M BEYOND DISGUSTED, YOU..."

She appeared at the bottom of the stairs just as Trowa began descending. She stared at him, red faced and wild eyed. She'd been crying, hard.

There was a tense moment.

Quatre stopped short just behind her, hand outstretched to stop her. Trowa tilted his head. Quatre was surprised to see him, but his eyes betrayed an unpleasant emotion. He was disappointed.

Iria swallowed hard and took two steps towards him, before she internally crumbled. She reached out a hand, looking unusually delicate as she lowered herself to sit on the stairs facing away from him. She covered her face with her hands and couldn't help a sob escaping. Trowa started towards her, when she snapped her head up and glared at Quatre. "Here. Now. Right now! Or I'll..." She sobbed again, she jabbed the air with a finger. "I'll... you... you stupid boy. You stupid, stupid boy!"

Quatre looked at her, sadly but seemingly unmoved. His expression hardened for a moment, and he took a step up toward Trowa. He rested a hand on the railing and stared at Trowa, blue eyes wide and searching.

Trowa stared back, understanding sinking in. It was horrible. The malicious glee in Marianna's face suddenly making a lot of sense. After all, what is better than a baseless rumour ...?

Trowa looked down, disappointed that he'd have to be the one to speak. "The affair with your accountancy aide? Beckett was it? Marianna wasn't lying then."

Iria's gasp told him all he needed to know and by the time he looked up, he saw Quatre's face hardened into something expressionless. Trowa nodded. "Marianna really does hate me." Trowa breathed out slowly, trying to keep his head together. He looked at Iria, "Can I stay with you tonight? I... I need to get out of here."

"Of course." Iria's voice was hushed. "Ah-as long as you... need."

Trowa nodded. He glanced at Quatre again, "Well?"

"What?" Quatre looked a little confused. "I didn't say anything."

"No, which is strange, since you're the statesman. You're the ... politician." Trowa reigned in his fury. "What's your... excuse?"

Quatre blinked, shoulders dropping. His voice was low, ashamed. "I don't have one."

They stared at each other for a long time. Trowa was ashamed but he was the first to break, he turned away from Quatre.

"He loves me."

Trowa paused.

"He loves me and he's not afraid to show me."

Trowa turned to look at Quatre, who at least had the decency to look embarrassed. For a long moment, Trowa stared at him. Trying to sort out all the clambering thoughts in his head. Finally, he simply dropped his shoulders in disappointment, all the tension leaving his body. "I left my family, my circus and my home and came here to live with you, doing a job that I don't love, living amongst people who rate me below the help."

"That's not fair!" Quatre protested half-heartedly. "You didn't need to—"

"Then…What does love look like to you?"

When Quatre didn't answer, Trowa turned his attention to Iria. "I will need to stay with you until I can book a flight home." He turned and walked back to his study.

Iria stood and ran up the stairs, "Trowa! Trowa, wait!"

* * *

_They say everything is temporary_

_Who the hell are they anyways?_

_I wanna know where does love go to die?_

_Is it some sad empty castle in the skies?_

_Did we just shoot too high and spoil like wine?_


	2. Do you have the time to listen?

**Disclaimer**: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

**Notes**: Relationships are hard work.

**Song**: Bastille - Basket Case

* * *

_Do you have the time to listen to me whine?_

_About nothing and everything all at once_

_I am one of those_

_Melodramatic fools_

_Neurotic to the bone_

_No doubt about it_

* * *

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

* * *

_Sometimes I give myself the creeps_

_Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me_

_It all keeps adding up_

_I think I'm cracking up_

* * *

**Chapter 1: Do you have the time to listen to me whine?**

* * *

Trowa scanned the arrivals hall, Quatre had insisted on meeting him at the spaceport. He shouldered his rucksack and moved through the crowds, still looking around the room. He caught a sign held high - 03HVYAMS - smirked and shook his head. He started towards the sign, noticing that Quatre hadn't spotted him yet and was craning his neck, a look of mild concern on his face. Trowa raised a hand to wave, and the motion caught Quatre's attention. Quatre dropped the sign next to his bag and moved forward.

Trowa dropped his bags and opened his arms to accept Quatre's hug. They held each other tightly for a long time. "I'm glad to see you too." Trowa muttered, nuzzling his nose into Quatre's hair. "I missed you, lover."

Quatre loosened his grip somewhat, and leaned away enough to look up at Trowa. Bright blue eyes were warm, as Quatre swallowed - somewhat overcome - and replied, "I missed you so much." Quatre laughed a tinge of embarrassment in his voice. "I could barely concentrate during the meeting this morning."

Trowa raised a hand and brushed Quatre's fringe back. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Quatre's. He stood for a moment, appreciating the feeling of coming home. It had been a long month away. Pulling away, he took a moment to appreciate Quatre's eyes again before dipping in to kiss him.

They had come a long way in the three years since they'd broken up. Quatre's affair had been a betrayal. Marianna had gloried in finally driving away Trowa. Trowa had returned to his sister's side, Catherine had ensured he was safe and loved in the ensuing media flurry, making him disappear. Quatre faced it all alone. L3 media took offense that 'their' pilot had been betrayed by the 'colony destroyer' - all of Quatre's good work forgotten in the face of his affair. L4 media was indifferent which only served to heighten the indignation of L3 rags.

When the intense scrutiny became too much, Marianna balked, Iria had let Quatre face it alone, and Beckett - Quatre's accountancy aide - walked away from it all.

Quatre learnt what the difference was between love and adoration.

Trowa took the time to seriously examine what he wanted. He travelled, he worked a range of jobs, he held his sister back from flying to L4 to strangle Quatre. Catherine was spitting mad at Quatre and could not understand how Trowa seemed to be so unaffected by it. When Rashid arrived one day, Catherine frothed with rage while Trowa simply invited the tall man in.

Rashid had sat at their table, his large hands making the steaming mug seem small.

They sat in relative silence until Catherine had raged herself out. "How can you even entertain the notion?!" She'd shouted finally at Trowa when she'd realised that both men were simply waiting for her to stop. "He hasn't even bothered to come himself!"

Rashid tilted his head to answer, but Trowa had simply paused before drinking to mutter. "Quatre doesn't know he's here."

Rashid gracefully tipped his head. "I'd appreciate it if we could keep this between us for now."

Catherine made a strangled noise of amusement, scoffing. "Why in all the colonies, would we-"

"Cath." Trowa set his mug down, "I'm going to hear him out."

"He blew you up! He's had an affair!" Catherine had threw up her hands, frustrated. "Third time will be the charm I suppose."

Only Rashid had winced when she left, slamming a door on the way out. He nodded his thanks, "I appreciate that you have absolutely no investment in this conversation, I appreciate you taking the time to listen. Your sister is..." Trowa could see it pained the man to admit it. "Right."

"It says something about me that I still love him." Trowa rested his chin on his hand, ignoring the hope that flared in Rashid's face. "Why isn't he here himself?"

"He doesn't think you'll forgive him." Rashid opened a hand, "I'm hoping to go back with something to give him hope."

"How is he?"

Rashid paused. "I don't wish to give you any cause to think I'm trying to sway you." He seemed to think, mouth opening as if to speak before hesitating and thinking again. He finally settled on saying, " He is not well."

Trowa had dipped his head, thankful for the honesty. "How bad is it?"

"Iria has not given him a choice this time. He failed to meet the weight requirement during his last physical. She has had him taken in as an inpatient."

That made Trowa draw a sharp breath. "He's not eating?"

"You know well how he is when stressed." Rashid had picked up his drink, pausing. "May I be frank?"

Trowa made a silent gesture.

Rashid sipped his drink and thought for a long moment. "Marianna did not appreciate the support your love gave Quatre. She believed you to be dependent on Quatre, she did not realise how much Quatre depended on you for emotional support, how much you helped to ground him. I knew we helped him somewhat, but she did not see the damage his upbringing had inflicted on him. He works for the company; he exists to serve his family..." Rashid shook his head, "But your relationship gave him a chance to live for himself."

"I'm not going to go back to him to serve his-"

"No." Rashid's voice was hard. "No. I would not ask that of you." He paused, looking away with frustration in his eyes. "You're good for him; I don't know how good he is for you. He misses you and I..." His voice had softened, "I can't stand by and do nothing. He must make amends to you but that doesn't mean you should sacrifice anything more." He held up his hands and - to Trowa - it had seemed like Rashid was older. "You know we love him so I make this journey for him, but… only once. I won't hound you, Iria has agreed with this as well. After this, nobody will try again." Rashid leaned forward, "It will always be your choice."

In the end, it was love that brought Trowa back to Quatre.

They parted and Trowa dipped to grab his bags. He wrapped his free arm around Quatre's waist and they walked over to pick up the sign and Quatre's bag. Recognising it, Trowa frowned slightly, "You came straight from work?"

"Yes." Quatre hummed, "I thought perhaps you hadn't eaten, maybe we could get dinner before you go to your apartment."

Trowa raised his hand to ruffle Quatre's hair, taking the moment of distraction to think. "You didn't need to wait."

"I - stop it!- I wanted to." Quatre took a moment to run a hand over his hair, smoothing the light strands. "I thought it would be nice to spend a little more time together."

"I could stay at yours tonight." Trowa offered, sincerely. He was a little taken aback by how much that brightened Quatre's demeanour.

"Really?" Quatre almost bounced, "Yes! I'd... " He swallowed, looking away. "I'd really like that."

It alarmed Trowa to realise Quatre was composing himself. He stopped and reached out to stop Quatre. He tipped his head towards the nearby coffee shop. "Let's get to the car, but before we go home - let's talk over coffee."

The slow close of Quatre's eyes let Trowa knew he was right to be concerned. Quatre swallowed and nodded. "Yes." When he opened his eyes, he looked grateful. "Thank you."

* * *

Heero stared into the fridge. It wasn't going to change the fact his lunch was still sitting on the counter at home. Contemplating the mystery tinned stew nobody seemed to have eaten in six months, Heero made up his mind. It was a nice day. Preventer Headquarters was only a five minute walk from the city park, and there was probably at least one other choice than the burger van that gave Wufei food poisoning there. He stepped out of the department kitchen and stretched his arms. "Good day for a walk."

He walked along the corridor, pausing by the office he shared with his partner. Wufei was reading a couple of reports, patiently cross referencing one against the other. He didn't even glance up as Heero came in. "Not trying the mystery stew then?"

"Not today," Heero pulled on his coat and walked over to his desk to grab his keys and phone. He locked his computer and ran a hand through hair that was perpetually messy. "I'm going to take lunch out." He glanced at his watch, "I'll be back in 45 minutes."

"Sure." Wufei did not look up, "We're meeting Conzec at 15.40." He did pause to glance up, "Mind bringing back a coffee for me?"

"Not at all." Heero checked his wallet, and then pushed in his chair. "See you later."

"Uh huh."

Others might have looked on and considered Wufei's disinterested tone rude, but Heero was well used to his partner's lack of manners - after all, he couldn't claim to be better. Of the two of them, Heero definitely considered Wufei to be the better mannered of them. Certainly Wufei would have said 'Hi' to Berkins - Heero, however, took a moment to strategically dip behind a pillar in main reception to take him out of Agent Berkins' line of sight. He moved through Preventers Plaza One. It was a massive building which contained significantly fewer staff than the colony based buildings. He wasn't used to such a huge space with so few people. The colonies were more staffed - recent years had seen an up-tick in dissident behaviour in separatists. Wufei had transferred to L1 and, by fluke of scheduling, had ended up in the same active division unit for the first time in the decade since the five Gundam Pilots had last fought together shortly after the wars. They worked well together, finding a good balance between them. When an opportunity to transfer Earth-side had come up, Wufei had jumped at it.

With nothing to hold him in space, Heero had transferred with him. It had turned out to be a good decision. Heero slipped on his sunglasses as he exited the massive Preventers headquarters building, squinting appreciatively up at the sky briefly before crossing the road. The park was a glorious one, nestled in the middle of the city; it celebrated everything great about peace. There was an outdoor theatre, a wide beautiful lake, a calming amount of paths and benches dotted about. Heero enjoyed his occasional morning jog around this park, but had never really taken much more than a stroll about it otherwise.

The hog dog vendor had been busy, but Heero had plenty of time to eat by the time he sat down. He picked a bench near the pond, eating while staring at nothing in particular. He just reflected on how warm the sun felt, how good the hot dog was, and entertained a vague plan of leaving work earlier than usual.

"Oh."

Heero slowed down his chewing as he looked up at the man who'd stopped beside him. The other guy had a fresh hot dog too. Despite his almost opaque sunglasses, his look of surprise slipped into something like vague bemusement. The other guy tilted his head, removed his large over-ear headphones and waved with his free hand. "Hey. It's been a while."

Heero raised an eyebrow and swallowed. He looked the other guy up and down, unable to align any aspect of the man with anyone he knew. He searched his memory for a brief moment before giving up. "Do I know you?"

"Uh..." Vague bemusement slipped back into surprise. The other guy shrugged. "Um. Well. Yeah, you used to. Given it's been a while, I …" His lips pressed into a line for a moment and Heero had the distinct impression the other guy was rolling his eyes. "I guess… I shouldn't expect you to remember." He gestured the bench with his food. "Seat taken?"

The other guy wasn't a threat, Heero concluded. He was wearing a standard office-issue preventer's uniform that hung off a thin but well-knit frame. He shifted over and nodded. "Go ahead."

The other guy sat down and munched on his hot dog. Heero stole another glance now that the sun wasn't against him.

The other guy had a Preventers' branded slouch hat and his hair colour – from what little hair Heero could see escaping under the hat - was brown. He had sunglasses, the preventer's issue combat style that prevented glare. It also prevented Heero from having a good sense of what colour the other guy's eyes are.

The other guy looked a little sad as he chewed. "You really don't recognise me, huh?"

Heero shrugged, there was no point in hiding it. "I'm told my facial recognition is—"

"Pretty shit. Nah, I remember." The other guy carried on eating his hot dog, seeming to make an effort to hide the fact that Heero didn't recognise him had made the other guy down. Feeling guilty, Heero resumed eating his own food while desperately searching his memory.

"Did we meet at a school?" Heero ventured. "There are a ..." He snorted darkly, "A limited number of other options."

The other guy swallowed, thought about it and nodded. "Something like that." He glanced about, his free hand touching his hat seemingly out of habit. It touched a memory in Heero, but not enough to spark recognition. "Though given both our histories, probably not something to get into here."

Heero nodded, appreciating the subtle wariness. He rolled his shoulders, staring at the lake again. "Nice day for lunch?"

"Yeah, I'm really enjoying the spring time. You?"

"Actually, yes." Heero tilted his head up to the sky; it was such a beautiful blue. "I've been space side for a long time. It's nice to enjoy the actual sun."

"I get that... like all the time." The other guy smiled, licking his fingers. "Been back a long time?"

"Just over a year. Been earth side for a while?"

"Yeah. Been grounded for a few years now." He adjusted his sunglasses, "Transferred from overseas a couple of months ago, following my … a case."

Heero nodded, he understood that. Preventers cases could take an agent anywhere in the world. It was a trade-off they had agreed to when joining. For Heero, it had brought the chance to see the world. He wondered about the other guy. "Didn't like space?"

"Wanted to build my career here. Best opportunities are here these days, given..." The other guy gestured upward, "Can't be dealing with the troubles. Not if I wanna make something of myself that doesn't involve a gun." He shook his head, speaking quietly, "I'm damned tired of fighting."

"Hmm." Heero hummed non-committedly. He glanced at his watch and wiped his fingers off. He stood, dropping his trash into a nearby bin. He walked back to the other guy. "Are we going to do names?"

The other guy chewed and swallowed. "Nah. I reckon, either my name's gonna come to you later, or we can have the fun of you trying to figure out who I am." He gestured his half-eaten hot dog. "I usually pack a lunch, but I reckon I could do this same time, next week."

"Hn." Heero tilted his head, and the gesture seemed to amuse the other guy.

"Yeah," The other guy said knowingly, "Yeah. I give you about two days before you crack, hack the Preventers' servers and look me up, or track me down to ask me outright." The smug tilt of his head, the smile almost pulling at his lips… it was so familiar. "You'll be cracking by tomorrow morning."

It rocked Heero to hear his possible reaction described accurately. "You seem pretty sure."

The thought clearly brightened the other guy's mood. "Yep."

Feeling a crackle of amusement, Heero surprised himself by smirking, "Same time. Next week."

"See ya!" The other guy stretched out his legs, and tilted his face to the sun.

Amused by the other guy's cock-sure expression, Heero smiled and walked off.

* * *

Quatre was looking out the window while Trowa got the drinks, but he was watching Trowa in the reflection. Uncertainty had plagued him while Trowa had been away. It had been Marianna's visit that had sent him spiralling again. Marianna always perfectly timed her visits to avoid Trowa, she had been entirely blindsided by Trowa's decision to return.

Quatre hadn't quite understood it himself...

Visiting hours had been very strict in the hospital. Quatre wasn't allowed to do anything that might cause him any undue stress. He had been surprised by the announcement his visitor was here. He barely remembered shuffling to the visit room, but the moment he saw Trowa, everything had fallen away and all he could do was stare. When Trowa had reached out a hand to touch him, he almost cried. Apologies tumbled from him, everything in him wanted to simply throw dignity into the wind and get down on his knees to beg for forgiveness. He could remember saying over and over, "I know what love looks like now."

For a long moment, it seemed that Trowa was unmoved until he had simply said, "Things must change."

Quatre had had no expectation of Trowa forgiving him, let alone resuming a relationship with him. It had almost made him fall out of his chair, he straightened when he saw the nurse look over with concern at his state. "Anything." He promised, "I will do anything."

Trowa had squeezed his hand then, "Get well. Then we will talk."

Getting well was a long road. Recovering had meant being more invested in his actions. It was not surprising to him that he clung to the prospect of regaining a relationship with Trowa to haul himself out of his spiral.

The cups on the tray clinked as Trowa set them down, and Quatre took a deep breath. He thanked Trowa quietly, took a deep sip of his tea and breathed for a moment. Nodding to himself, he looked at Trowa directly. "I was worried you might not come back."

Trowa tilted his head questioningly, but made no other movement.

"Marianna visited and ..." He shook his head, "I got stuck thinking you might not come back."

"You knew I would."

"It didn't stop me from..." Quatre sighed, "I just got stuck on the thought."

Trowa's smile was kind, patient almost. "Did she say something?"

"She asked about Beckett."

"Ah." The smile remained but the kindness was slipping away.

Quatre tried not to panic. "I'm not-"

Trowa's hand was warm on his. "I trust you would tell me."

Quatre felt like deflating. "I would."

"Then allow Marianna her meddling, and trust me when I tell you I'm coming back."

Raising a hand to pinch his nose, Quatre shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise." Trowa lifted his drink to his mouth; he shook his head as he swallowed. "Marianna would prefer you to marry and carry on the family name. And since she can't get you to be straight, she'd rather have you marry a suitable L4 prospect than a..." He scoffed lightly, "Circus performer. You can understand her position."

"I don't want to. She can't wish me straight." Quatre made a brief face and drank his own tea. "How do you be so understanding of her?"

Trowa stared out the window for a long moment, his cup held up. He looked contemplative. He looked at Quatre, "I'm not going to walk away from you. I love you. Marianna is your family; I know how seriously you take your obligations." He put his cup down gently, "My inability to work with your family contributed to your decision to cheat." His dark green eyes were steady. "We agreed that things had to change. We both needed to make some changes. This is mine."

Quatre swallowed reflexively. "You shouldn't have to."

"It's easy to walk away." Trowa reminded him and waited for Quatre to reply.

"It's harder to face it. Easier to face it together." Quatre nodded.

Trowa smiled slightly, picking up his drink again and returning his gaze to the window. "So, what else is troubling you, love?"

"Before I got side tracked... " Quatre smiled half-heartedly, "I was considering the possibility of you… perhaps you maybe wanting to…" He fiddled with a spoon for a moment, appreciating that Trowa waited. "I was thinking you could move back in."

Trowa blinked, looking like the thought had never occurred to him. "Come back to the main residence? What's wrong with the arrangement we have now?"

Honesty. It had been the hardest change Trowa had asked of him. Quatre nodded, he'd thought carefully about this question, knowing it would come. Marianna's visit had thrown him, but the core principle remained. "I want to feel a part of your world again; I miss the way I could wake up and know you were close by." Quatre swallowed, "I miss going to bed with you."

"We can have that without-"

"Not every night." Quatre interrupted, "Not like it used to be."

Trowa thought about that. "The way it used to be wasn't enough."

"I think we both know I didn't really appreciate what we used to have." Quatre put the spoon down. "I hope by now, we've both found our way forward? That perhaps we can try again."

There was a long moment, Trowa clearly taking his time to think about it. Quatre respected that and picked up his drink. He observed the surface of the hot liquid, trying not to let his thoughts overwhelm him.

"We could give it a go." Trowa said finally. "I have at least four months before I need to go back to L3."

Quatre smiled honestly, "Thank you. How would you feel about coming over tonight?"

"Sounds like it could work. I'd still need to pass by mine to collect some things."

"I'll drive you." Quatre sat back, feeling his spine unclench. He blinked in surprise and at Trowa's questioning look, smiled helplessly. "I didn't realise how worried I was that you'd say no."

"We've been in this relationship - or some iteration of it - for almost 10 years, love." Trowa said, concern passing over his eyes like a cloud. "Why would you be so worried?"

Quatre thought about it, "I suppose… I find it difficult to predict your reactions." He glanced away, "When you left, I was certain you wouldn't come back. I was wrong then."

Trowa reached out and touched Quatre's hand.

Quatre turned his hand to hold Trowa's, appreciating the gesture for what it was. A wordless expression of support and acceptance. Where Trowa had asked for his honesty, Quatre had asked for a kind of love that was easier to see. Together they shared what they actually meant. Their therapy sessions had helped them along, but it was still hard work making sure they both understood where the other was coming from.

Quatre stroked his thumb over Trowa's hand, taking a moment to enjoy the feel of Trowa's hand. "I'll call from the car, Iria was hoping to catch you. She wanted to visit tonight, but I asked her to give me some time with you first."

"I'd love to see her, Cath appreciated the wine." Trowa squeezed Quatre's hand, which made Quatre finally look up. Trowa nodded, holding his gaze. "I missed waking up with you as well. Thank you for inviting me to live with you."

"I hope you'll call it home." Quatre smiled, "But I'll understand if you want to keep your apartment."

"You never know, maybe you want to move in with me."

"Marianna would have a fit." Quatre looked up for a long moment, a range of thoughts and emotions flew over his face. Trowa had to laugh at the truly evil smirk that blossomed on Quatre's face.

"I think Marianna overestimates how much influence I have over you…" Trowa chuckled, "You'd never-"

"I could. I don't need to be at home. I could work from the office a little more." Quatre's expression turned slightly serious. "I could give everyone an extra holiday if I move in with you and-"

"Rough it?" Trowa laughed out loud and set his cup down to stop himself from sloshing his drink everywhere. He wiped at an eye. "Let's do it."

Quatre picked up his drink and held it out in a toast. "Let's do it."

Trowa chuckled as he toasted their plan.

* * *

"See you tomorrow morning," Wufei leaned over the central console of his car. "Coffee's on me."

"Sure, thanks for the ride." Heero closed the door and banged on the window once before turning to run up the stairs to his front door. The rain was in such a stark contrast to the beautiful sunshine in the afternoon before. It made everywhere look dark and slick, but still it made him smile as he turned from his open door to stare out across the street. It was so fresh. His quiet road, trees lining the street both sides of the road with a pleasing infrequency, the other homes old but lovingly maintained. His modest salary and the generous compensation from the war allowed him to live in a nice quiet area; his work had him keep odd hours that didn't make getting to know his neighbours easy.

He leaned against the door frame, caught by the beauty of the puddle forming on the street. He looked up, the angry grey of the clouds were mesmerising. It took one solidly cold rain drop to his eyelid to finally drive him inside. Shaking his head, Heero shrugged off his coat and quietly issued the evening routine command to his home. Lights came on throughout, the living room speaker starting to read the news. He toed off his boots and slipped on his slippers. He brushed his fingers over the hallway mirror, activating its HUD.

"Reminder," He said simply, "Contact Dawn re financial position of Colonies Apart." He took a moment to check his work email one more time, and then set his work accounts to silent mode. He took his keys and wallet out of his pocket, and placed them in the bowl below the hallway mirror. As he walked to the kitchen, he loosened his tie. He poured himself a juice, and picked up his book. The battered eBook had seen better days. He sat at the kitchen island, and brushed his fingers across the screen. He flicked back to the last page he remembered reading. The news in the living room ended and his evening playlist began playing.

Heero read quietly for a while, feeling his body unwind. As he felt the tension from the day seep away, he briefly remembered the last cocky smile of the other guy.

Heero looked up from his book.

The other guy was wearing a slouch-beanie and sunglasses. His skin wasn't very pale, but clearly white enough that he'd needed to be wary of the sun. Heero reached for a nearby tablet, and opened a notes app. He tapped down his observations from the day of the other guy. When he ran out of thoughts, he got up and started cooking himself some dinner.

As he stirred the pasta, it occurred to him that maybe Wufei would know the other guy. Heero smirked at the fleeting notion of dragging Wufei out of the office one day for lunch. Heero thought it would be less hassle to convince the other guy to let Heero take a photo of him.

Tasting his sauce, he made a face as he realised it needed more salt. Judging by the other guy's amusement at his lack of recognition, getting a photo would be just as frustrating.

* * *

Wufei tiredly dropped to his knees once he got in, arms spread wide for the small white cat that trotted toward him. "Hi Pumpkin." He said quietly, chuckling as the cat deigned to get into his embrace. He stood carefully and walked forward. The TV was on, and he strolled through the living room to get to the kitchen. Tatiana was making dinner, some pasta dish by the smell of it. He carefully let the cat down and moved forward to wrap his arms around her. "Hi honey." He dropped a kiss on her neck and she laughed.

"The cat gets a kiss before I do!" She gave the pot another stir and turned around to wrap her arms around his neck. She was so graceful in her movements; he was struck by how beautiful she was even in pyjamas. She pouted at him. "Marta told me she thinks you're spoiling me."

"I do." Wufei snorted softly, dipping his head to kiss at her collar bone. "And I love it."

"Because I'm worth it."

"Because you're worth it." He chuckled with her, moving to kiss her on the lips.

Tatiana was so beautiful, long dark hair piled messily on her head and pale skin perfectly perfumed. Her laugh was low as he pushed her against a counter-top. She leaned back a little, "Dinner will be ready soon."

Running his hands down her sides, Wufei smiled. "Then I suppose I can't tempt you into having dessert before dinner?"

She pouted in an adorable way. "Wouldn't want dinner to go to waste."

He let her out of his embrace and went over to the pot to give it a stir while he smelt the food. She was a decent cook. He heard the pop of a cork and looked up. If Tatiana had a fault, it was her drinking. Wufei rolled his eyes as she poured a generous glass of wine for herself. He rarely drank so much and almost never during a work night. It was a minor thing, and it wasn't something to get upset about. He told himself that, every time. As she drifted back to the living room, he put a wine stopper in the bottle and put it back in the rack. Maybe she'd forget and not finish this bottle.

"So how was your day?" He called as he straightened and pulled at his tie. He walked back into the living room.

Tatiana took a sip and gracefully shrugged a shoulder. "I'm far too good for that place. I should really find a new job." She looked at him balefully, "Or you could move into command and start earning more money, and be my sugar daddy."

Wufei snorted. "Please. That sounds horrible."

"You love spoiling me!"

"I also love being on Active Duty." He pulled off his tie fully and pulled his shirt out of his waistband. "Also, I wouldn't have thought you'd like to lose your independence. Nobody likes being wholly dependent on someone else."

"I would love it." Tatiana gestured with her glass, "You'd be able to buy me anything you wanted for me, and I could just be beautiful. No smelly co-workers, no paperwork." She narrowed her eyes at him, "You can't tell me you don't want a beautiful stay-at-home wife!"

He laughed, sobering slightly when he realised she was serious. "No, I'd really not want a stay-at-home wife. What would you do all day?"

"Be beautiful, shop." She sipped her wine, "Manage your estate!"

That made Wufei laugh. "No. Besides, I would have to get pretty high up the command chain!"

"You could do it, you're famous and you have an old family name!"

He shook his head, "If I'm going to climb, I'm going to do it because I'm worthy, not because I fought in a war and had a rich family."

"Why won't you think about our kids?" She pouted, slouching down. "They should have an excellent life style!"

"Let's get the wedding done first... we've not even gotten married!" Wufei shook his head, "I'm going to change, I'll be back down in a minute."

When he got downstairs again, she had served up the dinner and was sat in front of the TV with hers. He picked up his food from the kitchen, and came to sit with her. "This is amazing, honey."

"Hmm." She replied, her attention on the TV.

Wufei glanced at Tatiana, she seemed a little upset. "What's wrong?"

A frown appeared on her face. "Why wouldn't you want me to be your sugar baby?"

He was caught mid-chew and swallowed quickly. "I wouldn't think you'd enjoy being wholly dependent on me."

Tatiana looked at him, eyes welling. "So, what? I'm supposed to just marry you, have your babies and then keep working a job I hate?"

"Uhh..." Wufei's mind went blank. "No. You can always look for another job, one you enjoy better?"

"You're ... unbelievable." Tatiana shook her head, "You never think about anyone else, do you?"

Wufei blinked, "Tatiana?"

"No." She shook her head, and looked determinedly at the TV. "Just leave it."

Wufei sighed and focused on his food instead. Tatiana would work her way through this eventually.

* * *

_It all keeps adding up_

_I think I'm cracking up_

_Am I just paranoid?_

_A ya-ya-ya_

_Grasping to control_

_So I better hold on_


	3. But couldn't good, be good enough?

**Disclaimer**: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

**Notes**: Relationships are hard work.

**Song**: OK GO – White Knuckles

_You'll never get that taste out of your mouth_

_You'll never the paw prints, out of the hen house now_

_And you can't go back, same way you came_

_Round all the pieces up, but they just don't fit the same_

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

_White knuckles_

_Maybe it's not so bad_

_So let your hair down now_

Chapter 2: But couldn't good, be good enough?

"Who is 'The Other Guy'?"

The sheer bemusement in Wufei's voice made Heero jolt out of his thoughts and look over his shoulder. Wufei stood beside him, coffee in hand and bemusement on his face. His narrow glasses were eerily lit up by the digital notice board Heero had been looking at. Wufei took a sip of his coffee and then gestured the board with his drink. "You've been staring at this with more scrutiny than our case. Though..." He reached forward and moved one of Heero's notes aside to reveal the piss poor drawing Heero had attempted. "You really can't draw." Wufei snorted, "A stick figure would be better."

"Hn." Heero shrugged helplessly and raised a hand to awkwardly scratch the back of his head, "I don't remember what he looks like."

Wufei shook his head, "I'm not surprised." He cocked an eyebrow, "Why do you think I never cut my hair?"

Heero rolled his eyes, "I'm not that bad."

"You're pretty bad, Yuy." Wufei walked away to look at a report on his own desk, "I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you when I wore my hair down once, you called-"

"I felt there was a genuine threat."

"Uh huh." Wufei's voice was dry. "So, who is The Other Guy?"

"I don't know." Heero tapped the map, "I think he's a preventer. I mean, he was wearing the business cut uniform."

"Division?"

Heero hesitated, "… Not active."

"Kscht."

Heero blinked and looked over his shoulder at Wufei's inelegant snort. Wufei was leaning against his desk, hand clapped over his mouth and coffee held away awkwardly. Wufei swallowed and made an effort to look less amused. "I would like to think you can at least recognise people in our division. So, well done there, great detective work, Yuy."

Heero shook his head, helplessly. "I don't know."

"Okay, how about hair colour?"

"I don't know… brown maybe?"

"Brown … maybe?" Wufei laughed, gesturing his eyes with two fingers, "I thought you had super focus, like nothing could escape your notice?" Wufei chuckled, "I know that you found it hard to recognise people after you'd been away, but you're supposed to be really good with remembering details…"

"I have terrible facial recognition." Heero folded his arms and sank down in his seat, swinging slightly. "And the other guy knew that. How could he know that?"

"You probably worked with him on your missions." Wufei sounded vaguely disinterested, "Probably some maintenance crew or someone you met during the course of a preventer's mission." He snorted, "Maybe it was Berkins again."

"He knew me better." Heero picked up his own coffee, "Like we'd worked together for a while."

"Uh huh." Wufei shook his head, picking up a report to read. "And you don't even do him the honour of remembering him."

Heero sank into his seat, picking up a pen and vaguely doodling on the notepad in front of him. "He knew it would needle me not to know. Said he gave me about two days before I cracked."

"Really?" Wufei looked up from the report, "And it's been what? One day?"

"Less than 24 hours." Heero admitted, pressing his pen down in frustration.

"Ha." Wufei sounded amused, "He does know you. Does he know me?"

"He didn't say." Heero glanced up, "I mean I didn't ask." A thought struck and Heero rose to add a note to the digital notice board. "I'll ask. We're going to meet up at the same time next week." He glanced over his shoulder, "Do you-?"

"Don't even bother to finish that sentence." Wufei held up a hand, turning his head as if the thought made him nauseous, "I'm never eating from one of those damned carts again."

Disappointed, Heero rolled his eyes and muttered, "Photo it is then."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." Heero shook his head and walked over to Wufei's desk, "Where are the reports Conzec was sending us?"

Wufei's lips twisted in a familiar annoyed way. "Got diverted to Cyber Crimes, Hasigawa thinks there's overlap with her case." His expression darkened. "She's already started printing so the electronics are locked to her account."

"You let … Hasigawa … take vital information about… our case?" Heero worked hard to keep the amusement out of his voice. The snarl building on Wufei's face was a clear indicator he was going to lose his temper. Heero hid a smirk behind his coffee, "Would you like me to speak to her?"

"No." Wufei stood, finishing his coffee. "I'll just get Marta to step in. I'll go speak to her now."

"Could we not try peace talks first?" Heero gave an exaggerated wince; he returned to his desk and sank down into his seat. "Krakowski isn't exactly a… subtle solution."

"Hasigawa should have thought about it first." Wufei shrugged, pushing his glasses up his nose, "Besides I finally made some good will with Marta." He pulled on his coat and picked up his keys, "Speaking of which…" Wufei paused by the door. "Are we still on for Friday?"

Something slotted into place in Heero's mind. "Wait. Is the goodwill you've got banked with Krakowski the fact you've finally got me to agree to go to the pub with you and Tatiana on Friday?"

Wufei looked at him steadily. "Not going to lie to you, Yuy. Yes it is."

Heero stared at Wufei, his mouth falling open as his dark blue eyes moved side to side as he thought. He began to say something, paused and then shook his head. "We fought on the same side during the war, Chang."

"Yep." Wufei nodded and leaned against the door frame.

"We're partners now." Heero reminded him, "How have you come to betray me like this …?"

"Marta and Tatiana have another sister." Wufei said as if it should be obvious. "Marta would like to see Karolina to settle down with someone sensible."

"Marta doesn't like you because you are a Gundam pilot; she tolerates you because Sally Po told her you were the most sensible one. Why would she like me?"

"I'm the Gundam Pilot who joined an evil organisation after the war." Wufei snorted as he pointed to himself, he pointed at Heero. "You're the one who saved the world at the end of the war, twice. Marta thinks you'd be perfect for Karolina. Tatiana won't let Karolina be her maid of honour until Karolina has a decent photogenic boyfriend for the wedding. Marta is blaming me because you won't agree to meet Karolina. It's making setting a date and a location a little bit… tense."

They stared at each other until Wufei snorted softly. "Just… meet her. I only promised I'd introduce you."

"What do you think?"

"I think…" Wufei looked at the digital notice board, "I think you probably need someone … I mean, it's been a couple of years since Relena… maybe." He shrugged, "We don't hang out as much since I started dating Tatiana, but even I've noticed you're not as … social as you were." He paused for a moment and looked directly at Heero, "You … you look kind of lonely. Meeting other people might help you move past this… rut you're stuck in."

"I meant what you think about Karolina." Heero sighed and raised a hand to rub at his forehead. "But… I am. You're right… but…" He admitted with a quiet sigh, "But… Krakowski terrifies me. Tatiana is… not my type. So… Karolina is…?"

"I think Karolina could possibly do with … meeting you." Wufei made an awkward gesture, "Then maybe you could go with her to the wedding."

"Or maybe I just offer to be her plus-one to the wedding."

"That works for me. Tatiana won't notice." Wufei looked up momentarily, he winced, "We just won't tell Marta."

Heero sipped his coffee thoughtfully, "Are you sure it's Tatiana you're marrying?"

Wufei gave a helpless shrug, "Friday, yeah?"

Heero nodded slowly, "Yeah, Friday."

Wufei looked unnecessarily grateful, "Thank you."

"Go get our case files back from Hasigawa. Try not to get into yet another argument with her! I'm not sitting in on another restorative meeting!" Heero waved at him, and got back to work. He glanced - one more time - over his shoulder at his terrible drawing of the other guy, trying to recall anything more than the cocky last grin. Shaking his head, Heero turned and started sorting through the data.

Wufei looked around the records centre, waving at a couple of the admin staff as he passed their desks on his way to Marta Krakowski. Marta was a diminutive woman, typing away at her desk as if she hated the keyboard. She glanced at him once. "What do you want?"

"I was hoping you'd help me request some reports back from Cyber Crimes. Agent Hasigawa has diverted the evidence files I was expecting from Agent Conzec in Law Enforcement and—"

She did not look up from her typing. "Have you filled in a request form?"

Wufei briefly pursed his lips, before trying to smile charmingly. "Do I need to?"

Marta typed a final sentence and picked up a clip board, sliding a cheap pen into the holder. "Hand it in at the front desk."

Wufei looked at the form and sighed, "Thanks Marta."

"Hmmph." Marta continued her rapid typing. "I see Tatiana enjoyed the musical you took her to. She's been posting it all over her timeline, won't shut up about how much you spent on dinner with her." She paused and looked at him momentarily, her expression inscrutable. "Didn't think you liked that sort of thing."

"But it made Tatiana happy." Wufei picked up the pen and started filling it in. "It was a good suggestion, thank you."

"Hmmph." Marta typed a few more words, before tutting. "You shouldn't spoil her all the time."

He paused as he was writing to look up in confusion, "You suggested we go."

"Yes, but if you always spoil her, you will end up with her thinking she can do anything. You don't like musicals and you hate Kappa's. Why on earth didn't you find something you'd both enjoy?"

"She can do anything." Wufei frowned, confused, "She's perfectly allowed to do whatever she wants. I can make compromises…"

"What happens when you don't want to do it? Hmm? What happens then?" Marta frowned and hacked away at her computer for a long moment. "You just let her walk all over you all the time… She's too immature to understand that sometimes relationships should be made of more than fun, frivolous events." She flung an annoyed look at him, "I thought you'd be more of a controlling influence over her. You seemed so sensible!"

Wufei took a moment, pushing the tip of his tongue against a tooth to stop him from saying something he knew he'd regret. Finally, he settled on neutrally saying, "Uh huh."

Marta shook her head, "Your partner better be more sensible than you." She tapped the desk in front of her, "When you're done with the form, put it there. I'll process your request today."

"Oh," Wufei blinked in surprise, not expecting her to allow him to skip the front desk. "Thank you."

"Just make sure that you figure out how to handle Tatiana better in future. She's got to learn how to be your wife."

Wufei blinked, staring straight ahead for a long moment before replying, "Maybe I am going to marry her because I can tolerate the way she is now."

"Hah." Marta made a hard sound, stopped typing and looked at him. "Really?"

Wufei paused and looked up from the clipboard. "What?"

Marta seemed to glare at him for a long moment, "Are you marrying her because of the way she is, or the way she makes you feel?"

He stared at her, uncertain what the conversation was about any more. "Is there a difference?"

Marta simply shook her head, and carried on typing. "I've seen this before, my poor mother. I promised her I wouldn't let anyone fall into the same trap. And here you are, making the same stupid mistakes…"

"You have… doubts about …" Wufei looked up, trying to figure out where he was going wrong in the conversation. "My ability to be a controlling husband?"

Marta paused for a moment, looking up at him. Her glare could have torn strips off his back. "Are you done with the form?"

Wufei held the clipboard protectively towards his chest, "No?"

She waved at him impatiently, "Go finish the form, come back with the form, leave me to type."

Wufei nodded silently, and wandered away. He took a seat in the corridor by the windows. He carried on filling in the cumbersome form, occasionally looking at his phone for more information. Around him, various Preventers walked up and down the corridor. One agent stopped in front of him. He didn't look up even as he felt the agent lean over to peer at the clipboard.

"Is that… a formal request for evidence?"

He paused in writing, glancing over the top of his clipboard. The other preventer's boots were scuffed, her tights were an unconventional colour - tangerine to be exact - and there was a snarl on her face.

"Yes, it is, Hasigawa." He narrowed his eyes at her, looking at her imperiously over his glasses. "The evidence I was expecting this morning got diverted before I arrived today despite my expediency request."

She rolled her eyes, "Ugh. I am literally bringing the files back to you now. I even printed it for you!" She lifted a bulky ring-binder folder and peered closer at the clipboard, "Is that… Is that Krakowski's clipboard?" She tilted her head, "Really? The Big Fucking Guns, Chang?"

He sneered at her, "I want my files back."

"You got your fucking files, Chang. Douchebag." She shoved the thick ring binder in his direction. "You're such a -" Once he took the ring binder, she threw her hands in the air, her expression outraged, "How in the fuck does a stickler nerd like you got time to continue to exist in active? I thought the active division were supposed to be busy with - you know - protecting the planet from threats, not filling in pissy forms for the sake of it."

"Says the mole person of button pushing in Cyber Crime. What's it like being topside for once?" Wufei rolled his eyes, tucking the binder under his arm. "Is it all here?"

He took no little amusement at the flare of fury in her eyes. Hasigawa might have been unconventional, but she took extraordinary pride in her filing. Yanking the binder out of his hands, she flipped it open to the front and jabbed her finger into the contents page, all but growling at him. "It's all here!"

Wufei frowned, confused. "Conzec did a contents page?"

"Conzec? How… dare… you. I did a contents page!" She jabbed the page twice, "I've spent the morning reorganising it all, you ungrateful asshole."

His head snapped up, "Why would you reorganise—"

"Because Conzec can't cross-sort or alphabetise to save his fucking life. Thank god I got it before you, because while I was sorting it, I found a credible link between my guys and the Colonies Apart faction based here on Earth that you are investigating." She clicked her fingers and pointed at him, "Game, set, match, told you so."

She stared at him expectantly, getting increasingly visibly annoyed as Wufei stood there, looking at her with a carefully blank expression. He took a moment to look down at the binder, closing it slowly and tucking it back under his arm. He waited until she looked like she would say something before blinking slowly, taking a very dry tone, "Oh, thank goodness, you did your job." He raised the clipboard, "Excuse me, I got a form to file."

"You're still going to file it?!"

"I want it on record you diverted the files despite my request."

"Honestly, of all the—Fine!"

He paused in the doorway, hiding his smirk. He turned to look at her quizzically, Hasigawa folded her arms.

"You win." She tossed her head away from him, making her hair bounce, "What do you want?"

"Formal apology." Wufei held out an expectant hand, cocking an eyebrow expectantly. "Rank and file."

Hasigawa closed her eyes and squared her shoulders. She took a breath and then opened her eyes to glare at him, "I'm so sorry, Captain Chang," She bit out, "If my actions impeded your investigation in any way. I will certainly do everything in my power to make sure this error doesn't occur again."

He flicked his gaze down her quickly, "Regulation coloured tights for a week."

Hasigawa smirked, jutting her chin out and putting her hands on her hips defiantly, "Bold of you to assume I own regulation coloured tights."

Believing her, Wufei snorted, "All right. Next week at the Matters, you buy two rounds for me."

"Not this week?"

"Finally persuaded Yuy to go, I'm not going to allow any variables."

"Uh huh." She rolled her eyes, "Your girlfriend is probably enough of a variable, maybe keep her away from the shots." She glanced at her watch, "I gotta go. It hasn't been fun, let's not do this again."

"Oh, have other cases to impede?" He tilted his head sympathetically, "Other agents' days to ruin with your presence?"

"Ugh." She threw back her head, rolling her eyes dramatically. "How is it possible that you're this annoying, Chang?"

"I don't know, something about you just brings it out of me," Wufei spread his hands wide, "Must be your demonic nature."

Shaking his head, Wufei laughed as she stomped away, middle finger raised.

His phone had been ringing softly, but it was Quatre's gentle concern that pulled him all the way away out of his sleep. He opened his eyes tiredly. Quatre was sat on the floor by his side of the bed, fingers rubbing worriedly against his forehead.

"No… no…" Quatre answered, his voice soft. "The number I have doesn't work, it's out of service. I'm sure, I just tried it." He paused as he looked at his own phone, blue eyes electric in the glow. Quatre shook his head, "No, the last email was…Oh no, has it really been that long?"

Trowa reached out to gently let Quatre know he was awake. Quatre looked at him, pain and guilt in his eyes. Trowa frowned, sitting up further.

"Trowa's awake now, I'll pass him over." Quatre handed the phone over, mouthing 'Hilde'. He returned his attention to his phone, using his free hand now to type urgently.

Trowa sat up against the headboard, "Hilde? It's …" He looked over at the bedside clock, "It's 3.30am on L4…?"

"Sorry, I just forgot." Hilde was brisk but sincere. "You know how it gets. I wouldn't keep you up, but Quatre told me he hasn't heard from Duo either. It's a bit weird and I'm getting worried. Have you heard from him?"

"What are you…? What do you mean Duo?" Trowa blinked blearily, "Uh, no. We aren't due to get together for another…" He looked up, tired brain refusing to cooperate, "We've been busy…"

"I know." Hilde was patient, "But don't you at least get a message every so often…? Since Yuy pulled his last stunt, I thought you guys were resolved to at least keep in touch."

"We are." Trowa raised a hand to wipe over his face, "At least… we're trying. I think… It's been awhile since..." He blinked, "It's been a while."

"So, do you have a number for Duo that works then?"

"I think so…" Trowa raised a hand to wipe his eyes. "Why don't you?"

"I thought I did." Hilde sighed, "Look, it's been like four months since I last heard from Duo. I wouldn't normally worry, but …" She seemed to hesitate, "The new guy he's seeing is a bit intense."

"So?"

"So, he doesn't like me, and I'm hoping the reason I haven't heard from him is because he's having a sickeningly good time and his stupid loved-up brain just simply forgot."

"He's in a relationship?"

"In other words, you haven't spoken to him in just over a year then?" Hilde sighed hard, "Shit, boys. That's fucking shit, great keeping in contact."

Trowa blinked at the quiet anger in her voice, he looked at Quatre who seemed to be staring at his emails morosely.

Hilde sighed again, her voice softer. "I'm sorry, just… it's a bit weird. He doesn't normally fall out of contact so easily."

"You're right." Trowa closed his eyes, regret welling. "He doesn't normally fall out of contact. And we did say we'd be better after Heero's disappearing act." He reached out to stroke Quatre's shoulder, feeling the tension in there. "I'll contact Heero tomorrow, see if maybe he's heard from Duo." He sighed, "And I'll check if I've got an updated contact card for Duo. I'll get back to you."

"Thanks, I'm sorry to bitch you out. And waking you up at this ungodly hour." She laughed helplessly, "Shit, I'm not much better. It's been four months and I only noticed last week."

"That's about 6 months before we noticed." Trowa replied, "Bye, Hilde."

He hung up and put his phone on the bedside table. Quatre hadn't moved, staring at his phone. Its light made his pale blue eyes glow.

"Come to bed, love."

"It's been over a year." Quatre's voice was low, "How awful is that?"

"We're not exactly sitting on our hands." Trowa replied, "He'll be fine. Duo would contact us if something was wrong."

Quatre's sigh was heavy but he shifted anyway. "You're right, it just… you know it's been a while since we last saw Wufei either, you don't suppose we missed his wedding?"

That made Trowa laugh, "Wufei wouldn't get married without us." He snorted tiredly, wrapping his arms around Quatre as they spooned. "That woman might prefer us not to be there, but I doubt Marta would allow it to happen."

"You really don't like Tatiana."

"Reminds me too much of your sister." Trowa smiled as the bed bounced with Quatre's suppressed snigger. "Try to get back to sleep." He could feel himself already sliding back into sleep, but remembered that sometimes Quatre could struggle.

"Do you think Duo really is okay?"

"He'd find a way to let us know if something was wrong." Trowa replied, "We're pretty bad at this whole peace time communicating thing, but we'd know if something was wrong."

"Yes. Yes, you're right." Quatre sighed, and Trowa could feel his breathing even out.

Trowa snuggled closer, letting himself drop off back to sleep.

Relieved to escape the pub's hot atmosphere, Heero pushed through the doors and stepped out on to the street. He answered his phone gratefully, "Yuy."

"Hi, is it too late to talk?" Trowa's voice was smooth but quiet against the loud music.

Heero put a finger in his other ear and stepped further away from the pub. "No, no. It's fine!"

"Are you okay? You're yelling."

"No, I'm fine! The music was really loud." Heero stumbled a little further away from the pub, spotting a low wall across the street. He carefully made his way across the street and sat down heavily. "What's up?"

"Are you out?" Trowa sounded incredulous. "What's the occasion?"

"Wufei's girlfriend's sister wanted me to meet her other sister." Heero closed his eyes and hunched over to lean on his knees. The cold air was refreshing but he was starting to feel a little woozy.

"Ah. Karolina."

"How do you know?"

"Sally Po neglected to tell Marta I was gay and in a committed relationship. It was quite confusing the last time I was on earth."

"Eh hehe…" Heero chuckled, "I see." He took a deep breath, hoping it would clear his head. "Are you and Quatre coming to visit again? It's only been…" He paused to look uselessly at his fingers, "Five… uh six months… has it been a year already?"

"Not yet." Trowa chuckled, "You sound drunk. I didn't think you got drunk."

"Karolina is… not like Tatiana." Heero snorted, scratching an eyebrow, "I thought I was quiet."

"No, she is not like Tatiana at all, thankfully. I'm guessing that she still hasn't come out to her family."

It wasn't that funny, but Heero couldn't help the snorting laughter. "Aww, Wufei is never getting married. Tatiana won't let Karolina come to the wedding without a boyfriend."

Trowa sighed fondly, "Why Wufei is marrying her is beyond me. Anyway, that's not why I was calling."

"Hmm. Yeah?"

"I was calling to find out if you'd heard from Duo recently."

Heero blinked, suddenly feeling the alcohol. "Duo?" He wiped his hand over his face, sitting up slightly straighter. "No, he… I haven't spoken to him since… I don't remember, it was…" He looked up at the stars above, it was a clear night. "Before the hospital… he was still on L2."

Trowa's sigh was quiet. "I thought so."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Hilde called me, she hasn't heard from Duo in four months. With the new Preventers' deal, she's been so busy but she usually got a message from him every so often…" He paused, "When she called, I'd realised we hadn't heard from him in months either."

"It's not unusual…" Heero looked down from the sky, attention caught on people walking out of the pub. Two women followed by a man. One of the women was gesturing wildly at the other, and the man was trying to calm them both down. Heero squinted as he recognised Wufei. "We don't always… I mean, when I went away, nobody worried…" Tatiana looked absolutely furious with Karolina. Heero got up, his voice distracted. "I came back when I got my head straightened out. Maybe he's … getting away from it all too. He'll be fine. We—"

"We should care though." Trowa sounded regretful. "Listen, you sound like you could do with getting something not alcoholic. I'll check in with Wufei tomorrow."

Heero snorted distractedly, "Wufei's currently holding Tatiana back. I think maybe she's had enough of Karolina's attitude."

"Uh huh. Get home safely."

Relena's laughter was brighter than his headache could tolerate. He winced. Heero slouched back in his chair, leaning away from the computer screen. He reached forward and turned down the volume. "Could you maybe not take so much pleasure in my pain?"

"Hey, I've never seen you hung over! Let me have this!" Relena sat back in her own chair, bringing one knee up to hug as she cradled her coffee. It was early afternoon, on L1. "So, how was Karolina?"

"She's not interested in me." He wearily lifted his mug and sipped it. The caffeine only did a little to shift his headache. "I don't think I'm her type either." He tilted his head thoughtfully, "Though she might be Dorothy's… Dorothy feel up to taking on Krakowski in my place?"

Relena blushed lightly, tucking a lock of hair over her ear, "Uh, no. No. I think that Dorothy—I mean, I know she's—um. The divorce was- Uhhh..." Relena rolled her pretty blue eyes, shaking her head. It made her sloppy ponytail swish side to side. "Just… I think maybe, not something to…" Relena pressed the heel of her hand against her face, "Can we just change the topic?"

Heero blinked lazily, confused by Relena's unusually flustered talk. "Uh… okay." He took a breath, "Um… so how is your tour going?"

Even over the video call, Relena's sceptical look still amused him. "Do you really care?"

"No." He sighed, "It's going great, I was reading that the speech at the L1 memorial convention was beautiful and you made the L1 premier cry with your eloquent speech." He gestured slightly with his mug, "Not a dry eye in the hall after the toast. I quite liked how you quoted both Trieze and Heero Yuy in the same speech."

Relena looked abashed, "I just think it's time to remember to think about how far we've come."

"Yup." Heero leaned his head back against his desk chair. He glanced toward the window, appreciating the light and the slight breeze. He closed his eyes for a moment, listening to Relena as she continued to babble on. He was sitting comfortably in his pyjamas, gentle birdsong coming in from the street. It was going to be a glorious Saturday morning, even though his head was threatening to explode.

"Heero?"

He opened one eye, "Yes?"

"Just checking you haven't fallen asleep on me." Relena smiled broadly, "Maybe we should carry this on next time."

He sat up slightly, "Sorry, I didn't anticipate I would drink so much." He winced, "Or get home so late…"

"When did you get home?"

"About …" He leaned forward to check the time on the computer, "About 4 hours ago."

Relena's eyes widened in surprise, "And you still got up to make this video call?"

"I keep my appointments." He waved his hand dismissively, "I can sleep after this."

"Isn't this like your second coffee?" Relena shook her head, "You idiot, you don't need to… you didn't need to keep this call, I would have taken a rain check." She leaned forward, concern in her face, "You should probably just go straight to bed."

"I like talking to you."

"Uh huh." Relena frowned, shaking her head. "I like talking to you too, but you better promise me that your next appointment is with your bed and a tall glass of water."

Heero snorted, "Yes, ma'am."

Relena nodded determinedly, glanced down and then looked at him directly. "Listen, maybe Karolina wasn't your type, but…You're going to keep trying, right?"

"Uh…"

"I mean, I love talking to you. You're one of my best friends." Relena looked stern, "But you realise I'm not going to come back. I hope you aren't holding out for—"

"Relena." Heero held up a hand blearily, "I know you're dating someone."

Her blue eyes widened, "You do not!"

Heero chuckled tiredly, "Zechs can't keep secrets. Not if they involve potentially pissing me off."

"That rat bastard." Relena's voice went flat, her shoulders dropping. "I'm going to destroy him."

"Noin already did." He nodded slightly and then regretted the motion. He pressed his mug against his forehead. "Ow. He didn't tell me who it was. Just…" He opened his eyes, "Are they making you happy?"

Relena's cheeks filled with an adorable blush. She gave him a tiny nod before holding up her hands, "I mean we only just—I don't know—I'm…" She took a breath and looked away, "I'm not really ready to…" She bit her lip. "I'm not ready for this to go big."

"I won't be telling anyone." Heero tilted his head, "Just let them know that if they ever make you feel unhappy, I will be there." He watched as she smiled, and then as she thought and then he frowned as she seemed to consider something. "Do you think I couldn't take them in a fight?"

Relena's expression was uncertain, "I mean… I would pay money to see you fight."

Heero squinted at her. "You're supposed to be the total pacifist. Are you seriously claiming I couldn't defeat them in a fight?"

"Yeah, but…" Relena chuckled, shrugging. "I'm not sure how that fight would end."

"I see." Heero nodded slowly, sitting back, cradling his drink. "No clues."

"Not one." Relena smiled brightly, "It was a good try though." She snorted, "So, is Wufei really going to get married? Noin was telling me Tatiana's a hot mess, whatever that means…" She paused and looked up, "I don't know what that means..."

Heero glanced up from his ebook as Wufei pulled into the space in front of his home. He'd been waiting in the sunshine, sitting on the steps leading up to his home. It was very early on a Monday, but Wufei's text the night before made it sound like they needed the extra time. He picked up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and got into the car. Wufei nodded to him, not saying much as he pulled out and started driving towards work.

Heero carried on reading.

"Want to stop for coffee?" Wufei asked quietly, "It'll be on me."

"Sure." Heero turned a page, "Are you okay?"

"Tatiana is…"

Heero looked up at the uncharacteristic pause. Wufei seemed very focused on making the turn.

"She's quite upset with you."

Heero blinked, "What did I do?"

"Because she can't be upset with Karolina." Wufei winced, "Their blazing row carried on after the taxi ride."

"Oh. So why must I shoulder the blame?"

"Because Karolina finally got mad enough to come out."

"You knew."

"Trowa told me last year when he was visiting."

"Why didn't you-?"

Wufei glanced sharply at him, "That was her business. I said I would try and get you to the pub. Introduce you. I wasn't about to out poor Karolina to her…" He frowned deeply, his lips twisting into an impatient look, "Intolerant sister."

Heero winced, "Is… Does Krakowski know?"

"Oh yes, Marta wasn't entirely surprised – she clearly had her suspicions… I think she considered you a gentleman who'd keep her secret for Karolina. Tatiana appears to have been broadsided though. Saturday was spent with all three of them screaming at each other at the apartment, and then Sunday was all three of them at the apartment, bawling at each other." He shook his head, "I swear I still have a headache."

"Is Karolina all right?"

Wufei's frown deepened, "I hope so. I've made it clear to Tatiana that I won't tolerate any homophobia. Karolina deserves better from her sister." His lips pursed as he made another turn, "Tatiana is upset with me, but this is a line I won't have her cross."

"Has she met Quatre?" Heero asked casually, his own annoyance dancing lightly in his tone. "Because I'm sure Quatre would love to straighten her attitude out."

Wufei snorted, "I thought I might try peace talks first. I'll engage Winner as a last resort." Wufei glanced at him, "I told Karolina that you're available to be her plus-one if necessary."

"Sure."

They pulled into a drive through coffee shop, ordering quickly and carrying on. Heero sipped his coffee, reading his ebook as Wufei drove. After a few moments, Heero glanced at Wufei. "Are you okay?"

Wufei tilted his head in an unsure gesture, "I hadn't realised her … intolerance was so deep. Marta was shocked as well." He glanced at Heero, "It would seem she can handle having gay friends, but feels that her family should be…" Disgust passed over his face, "Pure."

Heero thought about that for a moment, before asking again. "Are you okay?"

"No." Wufei tapped the steering wheel impatiently. "I don't like it. It makes me question if I…" He pursed his lips. "My family would not meet her … exacting standards it would appear." Wufei flicked a glance at Heero, "If she were to speak to Barton or Winner like that… I would be …" He shook his head. "I would not be patient."

"No. I should think not." Heero frowned and looked out the window. They had turned onto the junction that would take them into the Preventers' Plaza One's car park. The phone call from Trowa came back to him. "Have you heard from Duo recently?"

"Maxwell?" Wufei's voice was distracted as he navigated the difficult turns into the entrance. "Uh, no. Last I heard he'd signed up on L2, in a division that wasn't Active - Berkins was so disappointed." He frowned, eyes squinting as he tried to remember. "I can't remember which division he ended up in... Schbeiker would probably know more than me."

"She hasn't heard from him in a few months. She's been asking Trowa—"

"So? We didn't hear from you for a year, you came back." Wufei rolled down his window to show his credentials to the gate. "I'm sure Maxwell is out there somewhere."

Heero glanced at him. "Hm."

"If Maxwell needed help, he'd contact us. He knows that. You know that." Wufei pulled into a parking space neatly, taking the time to straighten up. "If there was something wrong, we'd know."

Heero frowned, "Yeah. You're right…"

Wufei unbuckled his seatbelt and grabbed his coffee and keys, "I'm always right."

A car honked loudly in front of them. Heero stared at the irate driver in front of them. Beside him, Wufei raised his coffee cup with a wide grin. Heero looked at Wufei, then at Hasigawa who raised the middle finger and drove off to find a different space. "What's her problem?"

"I parked in her space." Wufei's face was righteously smug.

Heero narrowed his eyes in confusion, "We don't have allocated parking?"

"This is the nearest space to the lift with direct line of sight and the shortest route to the exit. It's the perfect space. It's her favourite space."

"It's literally a gap between several other similarly sized gaps." Heero shook his head, "Is this why we needed to leave a little earlier today? So you could park here?"

"Yep. She took our files last week. I'm taking her space this week."

Heero held up a hand and got out of the car, "Can you just not let this escalate again?"

"I always win."

Heero pulled his bag on his shoulder, "What is it about Hasigawa that gets you so riled up?"

"She's an idiot who thinks she's always right." Wufei pulled out his own bag from the back seat and locked his car. "She thinks she's so smart, honestly, it sickens me." He started walking a little faster, "Come on. Let's get upstairs before she arrives."

Heero rolled his eyes.

"Afternoon."

Heero looked up as the other guy approached, this time holding a coffee and a sandwich.

"Seat taken?"

Heero moved over. "Go for it."

The other guy smiled, and sat gracefully. Heero watched carefully. Something about the way that the other guy moved triggered a vague memory. The other guy was well toned, sitting with extreme ease.

"How was your week?" Heero asked nonchalantly, looking the other guy up and down once more. Despite how his uniform hung loosely on his body, there was muscle tone and a fitness to the other guy's body that was very … recognisable. There was something so familiar. For a moment, Heero saw the cocky grin of the other guy-

"Ah, work was the same as usual." The other guy's awkward chuckle interrupted Heero's thoughts. "Do I have something on my uniform?"

"Just observing. I'm going to figure out who you are." Heero shrugged. He gave the other guy another look over, trying to chase the thread of the familiar thoughts. "You work out?"

"Uh huh." The other guy replied in a deadpan manner, and then smiled broadly, "But seriously, yeah. I've been hitting the gym for a few years. After the war, you know..." He trailed off and ate silently for a while.

Heero frowned and took a sip of his coffee. "I don't know much. After the war, I..." he took a breath, "I went a bit... Unglued from reality?" He looked across the park; he'd picked a spot that he could look out across the pond. "I lost contact with all of my friends, anyone who reminded me of the war, and had to start again. I found it really difficult to relearn everyone's faces. The gym became my escape."

The other guy's eyes were quite focused on the sandwich in his hands. "Yeah, I can get that, buddy."

Something in the way he spoke sparked a memory in Heero. Heero turned his head to stare at the guy intently, trying to recapture the moment in his mind. He found himself watching the other guy's lips. It was almost so…

"Happens to people like us, who lived like us—"

"Who fought like us?" Heero whispered, realisation sinking in. "You're … oh shit, I'm…"

The other guy chewed his sandwich for a long time before swallowing, and then nodding. "Yep." He tilted his head towards Heero, his smile a little uncertain. "You seriously didn't recognise me?"

"I... I..." Heero raised a hand and pointed at the other guy's hat, "You… your hair?"

"Really? That's how you remember…" The other guy snorted, "It's all under the hat."

"Oh…" Heero touched his forehead in shock, "I thought… I knew my facial recognition is pretty shot but…"

The other guy smiled. "It's all right, I remember..."

Heero put his coffee down and reach out a hand. "Let's try this..."

Confused, the other guy reached out a hand and took Heero's. Heero shook his hand, and introduced himself.

"Heero Yuy, I'm a Preventer, Active Duty. It's a pleasure to meet you, I've enjoyed meeting you for lunch recently, it's been refreshing to meet someone outside of my division."

The other guy chuckled, "Ah haha, sure. I like it." He tightened his grip and shook Heero's hand firmly twice. "Duo Maxwell, I'm also a Preventer, Cyber Crimes. Pleasure meeting you too, I'd be up for meeting more frequently as it seems we might have a lot in common."

Heero picked up his coffee, "I usually bring my own lunch."

"Me too. This..." Duo gestured the sandwich, "…is just a once a week thing for the day when I forget to make my own."

Heero smiled, "Yeah, that's my thinking as well." He laughed as Duo held out his cup in a mock toast and touched his own cup to Duo's. He chuckled embarrassed, "You know, Trowa told me that Hilde's been looking for you. She hasn't heard from you in—"

"A couple of months?" Duo returned his focus to his sandwich, he chuckled half-heartedly, "Yeah… I uh… I should probably get 'round to calling her some time." He took a bite out of his sandwich.

Heero chuckled, "You're lucky… Trowa's worried. That's more than I got." He sipped his coffee, wrinkling his nose. "I'm almost jealous… Nobody looked for me when I went missing."

"I did." Duo said quietly, sipping his coffee. "Me and Relena, we looked for you." He sipped his drink again, staring out across the water. "Look, about Hilde… let me call her, but uh… if … she talks to you again, tell her I'm fine. She uh… Doesn't get on with my new boyfriend."

"If I remember correctly, Hilde gets on with everyone." Bemused at the concept, Heero frowned, "How are you dating the only person in the universe with whom Hilde does not get on?"

That caught Duo as he was drinking, he coughed. Heero smirked as Duo shook his head and cleared his throat. "Ames is… Just a bit straitlaced. He likes things done a certain way, and Hilde makes me a bit… slap-dash." He shrugged, "I wanted to make a good go of it, so figured I could straighten myself out."

Heero narrowed his eyes as he tried to imagine it. "I'm trying to imagine you… straightened out? All I'm getting is Wufei." He winced, "Wufei is never going to let me forget this… This is going to be worse than that one time he wore his hair down."

"Ha ha." Duo was deadpan, "Ames just… likes it when I'm sensible. We can't always be the kids we were."

Confused, Heero frowned slightly, "You were always sensible when it counted."

"Yeah, well." Duo sipped his drink, "I don't always want to be the… what did you used to call me? Baka?" He stared down at his coffee cup, "Ames is a really good guy."

"I look forward to meeting him." Heero smiled lopsidedly, "If he makes you that happy."

Duo didn't answer straight away, his eyes caught on the top of his coffee cup. He sighed. "He's the best I'm ever gonna get, Heero. I gotta make it work." He got up fluidly, "I gotta start heading back. Wanna join me?"

_So just have fun, it's far enough_

_Everybody needs to sleep at night, everybody needs a crutch_

_But couldn't good, be good enough?_

_'Cause nothin' ever doesn't change but nothin' changes much_


	4. The glass shoes must be too delicate

**Disclaimer**: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

**Notes**: Relationships are hard work.

**Song**: Ayumi Hamasaki – Beautiful Fighters

* * *

_I wonder_

_About what time I noticed_

_That a fairy tale is no more than a fairy tale_

* * *

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

* * *

_And regrettably_

_Everyone knows_

_That there is a rather surreal ending_

* * *

**Chapter 3: The glass shoes must be too delicate**

* * *

"So..." Duo drew out the word, "How long have you been with the Preventers?"

They were walking back towards Preventers headquarters.

Heero laughed, feeling oddly free. "Remember the peace accords? I refused to join until they were signed. I didn't want to be a soldier anymore."

"Fair enough." Duo glanced to the side, "By age 16, we'd both done enough." A dark emotion flitted over his face as he muttered, "Bled and gave enough." He seemed to pause for a moment, take a deep breath and force a smile back on his face. "I joined a couple of years ago."

"Wasn't there…" Heero dug in his memory, "Something about a scrap business?"

"Ugh." Duo rolled his eyes, "I got ... bored? I didn't think I would, and it had been my dream for so long. Hilde was real good about it though." He shook his head, and raised his hand to scratch his neck. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." He ducked his head, "I should really check in with her… Man, I always just forget…"

The motion was so familiar, it sparked all the memories he had of Duo. Heero stopped in his tracks and stared hard at Duo, feeling cold. The other man stood in a uniform like his, the colour fading from his glasses as they switched from sunglasses to normal glasses. Heero struggled to figure out how he couldn't have realised the person standing in front of him now was Duo. "How did I forget what you look like?"

Duo paused and turned around, his smile lopsided. "In all honesty, I have no idea. Your facial recognition has always been pretty broken." He smiled broadly, "Though I guess it doesn't help..." He reached up and removed the slouch hat, revealing his long hair, braided carefully around the back of his head. Neat and effective, Duo had kept most of his long hair but found a style that met the professional requirements of Preventers.

Heero felt his lips twitch in amusement. "Isn't that... Ladies' acceptable hair style number 9?"

Duo twirled the cap on his finger and turned away to resume walking, he called over his shoulder. "Think you'll find the wording is now completely gender neutral in the updated handbook."

Heero found himself laughing fondly. "Of course."

They entered the massive reception room, and paused. People continued walking around them, the room was busy. Duo jerked a thumb over his shoulder, "I'm heading this way, and you're not." He snorted teasingly, "Captain Active Duty Yuy. So, I guess... See you next week?"

"Wait!" Heero reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. He shook it slightly as he woke the device up, tapping his contacts. "Here's my contact card. I don't think I've got your new number…We shouldn't wait until next week, we should find a time to catch up."

Duo held out his own phone and woke the screen. He tapped it against Heero's and accepted the data transfer. He stared down at the contact details.

"Huh." He held up the phone, shaking his head slightly. "I'm... I ..." Duo glanced down and then looked up, his violet eyes sincere behind the wide glasses. "Look, I missed you. Always wondered what happened to you. Kinda figured the government put you on ice to save the world next time..." He glanced at his phone before sliding it back into a pocket. "I mean, I coulda looked you up at any time. My department—"

"Cyber Crimes is awfully lax if you think you could do that," Heero said drolly. He held out a hand, smiling as Duo took it, "I'm glad you found me on the bench." He gestured in his office's direction. "Wufei works upstairs."

"No way." Duo whistled, eyebrows raised in surprise. "He's still here? Totally would have pegged him as settled and married with kids by now. Working in some dusty office…"

"If Krakowski gets her way, he will be in about six months." Heero smirked. "Her sister is his girlfriend."

"Krakowski? As in Marta Krakowski?" Duo pointed down, "The Dragon of Records?"

Heero jerked in surprise, "Yes!"

"Her sister, Six-Shot-Krakowski-Minor, is dating Wufei? Wufei - Honour is everything - Chang verses Marta - Fucking don't cross me - Krakowski." Duo's face lit up, "I would pay actual money to see this. I thought the tales Riko was telling Loris were fictional...Shit." Duo stared for a moment. "Six-Shot-Krakowski-Minor isn't a myth?!"

Heero thought for a moment, "We're going out this Friday, you could meet this mythical Six-Shot-Krakowski-Minor." He shrugged, suddenly self-conscious, "It's just a drink down at the Matters. I mean, it's singles night but nobody pays attention to it… You'd be welcome to come along."

"The one… On Brennan street?" Duo clicked his fingers twice, "Uh… The one with the atomic diagram for a sign?"

"That's the one. I'm probably just going straight from work."

"Yeah!" Duo's grin was broad and glad, his eyes wide and slightly dazed, "I can totally make that. My apartment isn't that much further." His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out to check it. A frown flitted over his face, all the excitement draining away. "Um... yeah, look, I gotta go." He started walking backward, his phone buzzed again. Duo gave it one look, winced, and nodded, "But - yeah, meet you, what? Here? What time do you finish on Friday?"

"I can be done for 5pm." Heero took a couple of steps forward, walking after Duo. He gestured towards the nearby cafe, "Meet you there?"

"We got a plan, Yuy." Duo turned and began to walk a high speed.

Heero watched him go, feeling lighter than he'd felt for a while. His phone discreetly pinged in his pocket, and he pulled it out to check it as he got into the elevator. A message from Duo.

_Thanks for inviting me._

Heero didn't even think about it, his reply flying straight from his fingertips.

_I'm sorry I didn't know, but I missed you too._

Duo left him on read for a few moments, typing, deleting and typing and deleting until...

_I'm glad you remember me._

Heero blinked at the odd warmth he felt, it made him smile and lean back against the wall.

* * *

Heero stretched, linking his hands over his head and arching his back. He yawned as he got up from his computer. Wufei had left an hour ago, and Heero would be making his own way home. He was glad that he wouldn't miss the last bus, though he knew he'd have to leave now to be able to catch it. He paused by the window to look out at the city below. It had been raining hard all day for the past three days. The day at the park seemed like a distant memory now. Heero shook his head, and walked back into the office to pick up an umbrella. Checking his phone for the time, Heero picked up the pace and walked out of Preventer headquarters.

He arrived at the bus stop and found quite a number of people waiting. It was clear that the bus was running late. Heero was very glad he'd picked up the umbrella; there wasn't enough space under the shelter for him to stand. He sighed and pulled out his phone, putting his headphones in.

He was quite focused on his game when the couple walking out of Preventers headquarters caught his attention; they were arguing loudly enough to make everyone around him awkwardly try to watch without being noticed. Heero glanced up as he heard one of them raise his voice. They were too far away to be really heard clearly over his music. Their body language showed that they were clearly quarrelling. Heero tilted his head curiously when he noticed that one of the men wore a familiar slouched hat. Without thinking Heero took a couple of steps forward, concerned.

In the heavy rain, Duo was shaking his head, flinging his hands in the air in a stopping motion. The other man was snapping angrily at him, gesturing widely. Heero paused when Duo threw his hands in the air in a defeated gesture and walked away from the other man. They had both been walking away from the bus stop, and Heero briefly wondered if he should follow. The other man truly looked irate, shoving a hand through his dark hair impatiently.

Heero took a step forward, and watched as Duo stopped and turned. Heero couldn't hear what they were saying, but Duo looked very angry now. Heero trained his eyes on Duo's lips, seeing Duo say, "I'm not taking this. You always do this to me! He's my friend, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

Almost shaking, Duo was tugging at a set of keys and succeeded in pulling a key off his set. He held the key out and clearly demanded a key back from the other man. "I can't do this! I've had enough!"

The other man was still for a moment, before hurriedly dragging his own keys out. He struggled with the set, before he pulled off the key that Duo appeared to be asking for. He held it up for Duo to see, and then threw the key into the road. Without another look, the other man snatched his key from Duo, spun and stormed off. He walked into Heero roughly, swearing as he passed.

Pulling his headphones off, Heero looked at him for a long time as the other man stomped away. Heero turned slowly, and looked at Duo. The other man was staring forlornly into the road, his face pale in the street light. Heero followed his gaze, the road wasn't very busy but it was dark. The rain would make looking for the key rather difficult. He looked back at Duo, who now stood at the end of the road, one hand rubbing his forehead. He didn't see Heero, didn't react until he seemed to realise it wasn't raining on him anymore.

Dropping his hand heavily, Duo looked at the umbrella above him and then at the person holding it. It wasn't really large enough for two people, so Heero held it out over Duo, allowing the rain to fall on himself instead.

Duo sighed deeply. "Any chance you just happened to not see that?"

Heero pressed his lips together, feeling a little awkward. He glanced away, looking in the direction of the key that had been thrown. "Was that your key?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Duo raise a hand to roughly scrub at his eyes. Heero chewed on his lip for a moment. He handed Duo the umbrella and stepped out into the road. Keeping one eye on the traffic, Heero quickly hunted for the key where he thought it had landed. He found it by the curb on the other side, crouching to pick it up. He wiped the key on his trouser leg, and held it up for Duo to be able to see.

Just in time to watch the last bus pulling away from the stop he'd been waiting by.

He was so caught up watching the last bus he could take home, he didn't realise Duo had crossed the road to join him. Duo looked crestfallen, "Let me guess, that was your last chance to get home tonight?"

Heero snorted flatly, "I can still get home, it's just going to be more—"

"I can drive you." Duo said quickly, "Least I can do."

"I didn't—"

"You found my spare key." Duo nodded decisively and stepped closer to Heero, holding the umbrella over both of them. "It's the very least I could do for you!"

Heero tipped his head and held out his hand, the key lay in the middle of his palm. "Given how heavy the rain is, I'm not going to say no."

Staring at the key in Heero's hand, Duo's eyes welled up before taking it. He blinked and nodded, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, "I'm parked under headquarters."

* * *

They didn't say much until Duo pulled out onto the main road. Heero gave quiet instructions and then waited. Duo was very quiet, it didn't quite gel with the memory Heero had of the man. Heero flexed his fingers over his knees, staring out ahead. The radio chatted away quietly, and the windscreen wipers kept a regular rhythm. Heero glanced at Duo. The other man was staring ahead, focused on his driving but his expression was miserable. Heero chewed his lip and shrugged, "Thanks for the lift."

"It's nothing."

"Is it far out of your way?"

"I'm in a car, nothing's really out of my way in town."

Heero frowned, "It's pretty late. You might not have time for dinner by the time you get home."

"I'm not gonna sleep or eat tonight. Too stressed." Duo swallowed, his hands flexing on the steering wheel. "I mean... It doesn't- Nevermind."

"Who-?"

"He's..." Duo swallowed thickly, "He was my boyfriend. We've been together for a while."

Heero floundered for a moment, not sure what to say. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Duo sounded bitter. He shook his head and a tear rolled down his cheek. "Bastard thinks I'm cheating on him. After everything I gave up for him, he can't even trust me on this."

Heero sat still, "Are you okay?"

"He thought I was cheating with you." Duo shook his head again, his lip trembling. "Asshole. He did this with Hilde too!"

"I'm sorry," Heero thought for a moment. "Would you like me-?"

"Fuck, no." Duo spat, his anger coming to the fore. "I'm not staying with someone who thinks going through my phone and fucking ordering me not to talk to my own family is fucking acceptable in a relationship!" He drew a deep breath and swallowed. "I'm sorry. That's kind of you, but Ames made his choice. He could have not tried to be a fucking asshole about it. He promised me he'd back off after we agreed I'd stop calling Hilde so often!" He risked a glance at Heero, and sighed sharply. "Honestly, this was the last fucking straw!"

Heero nodded, "I understand." He looked down for a moment, "I'm still sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry you're feeling this." Heero clarified, linked his hands together. "I know it hurts to break up with someone you loved. It's left up ahead."

Duo made the turn before quietly saying, "I knew you'd broken up with the princess." He paused as if not sure if he should say anything else, "I'm sorry it played out so… publically."

Heero shrugged, fixing his look on the road ahead. "It wasn't as bad as the magazines made out." He pointed at a space, "You can park there."

Duo pulled into the parking space, and switched his car off. They sat in the dark for a few moments. Duo's hands slipped off the steering wheel, he pulled his glasses off and let his hands hang limply in his lap. Heero swallowed as he listened to Duo begin to weep. He wasn't sure what to do. He had been telling the truth about his break up. Relena took the brunt of it, thanks to her very visible lifestyle. She was the princess who'd walked away from the knight that had saved her. It had made Heero uneasy, but he hadn't really cared. It had felt like their relationship had started because someone else decided that they obviously belonged together. When Relena had finally realised she wanted more than a devoted knight at her beck and call, Heero had begun to realise what he'd felt for her was little more than friendship. They'd parted on even terms, despite the immense public disappointment. It hadn't been as visceral as this.

He glanced at Duo, the sorrow and fury that radiated from him was palpable. Heero licked his lips and tentatively reached out a hand to cup it over one of Duo's clenched fists. Duo's quiet weeping haltingly stopped, Duo's other hand unclenched and reached up to scrub the tears from his face. Heero looked at him, when he was ready to glance back at Heero. It was dim in the car, but Heero could see how red Duo's eyes were. Heero nodded, "Why don't you come in?"

* * *

Duo sat at the breakfast bar as Heero moved around the kitchen with familiar ease. He wrapped his hands around the hot mug, appreciating the thick ceramic. It was a huge mug, round and heavy. It was so awkwardly large; Duo'd almost dropped it when Heero first handed it to him. Thankfully, Heero hadn't let go. Duo closed his eyes and sighed. Now Heero was pottering around making a light dinner for them both, a soup of some delicious smelling kind. Duo glanced at the clock, he'd need to gulp it down and then—

"Why don't you stay the night?" Heero asked as if he'd read Duo's mind. Duo looked at him, slightly alarmed. Heero was staring down at the pot, stirring. He looked over his shoulder, "I mean. I think that it will likely be really quite late by the time you finish this, and…" He looked away, stirring for a moment. He sighed. "I don't think you should be driving."

"I'm okay."

Heero didn't answer for a while, worry in his eyes warring with not wanting to overstep. It made Duo feel even worse. "Okay," he said quietly. "But…" He turned and slipped into a chair on the opposite side of the breakfast bar, linking his hands together as he leaned forward. "I do have a spare bedroom, and I can wash your uniform tonight and it will be dry for tomorrow."

"I don't want to impose."

"It's fine." Heero nodded, "Besides, we could catch up a bit." He smiled in a way that threw Duo back to age 15. Heero added quietly, "I'd really like that."

The hope in his voice made Duo swallow hard and his eyes well up. Ames' furious accusations rang in his mind and made him close his eyes against the memory. He felt something warm touch his back and he opened his eyes to Heero standing beside him, a hand tentatively stroking his back and concern was in his expression. Ames' angry voice faded away in his head at the sight of Heero's steady dark blue eyes.

"I…" Heero pursed his lips together for a moment, "I don't think you should be driving like this."

Duo snorted, his voice catching as he spoke, "What, Yuy? You never cry and drive?"

"No." Heero answered simply, "I pull over and rest."

Duo's shoulders drooped, "You must think I'm pathetic."

Confusion appeared on Heero's face, "No. I think you're mourning the loss of a relationship, and possibly need to be less hard on yourself." He sighed, "If there's one thing I've learned over the last few years, it's that allowing yourself to feel sad is not a problem." He hesitated and then nodded, "This Ames ... you can still miss him, even though you're angry at him for breaking your relationship over... nothing he needed to worry about."

"You're not nothing, Heero." Duo cupped his hands around the round cup and sighed, "Ames knows that I've missed you all." He fell silent for a long moment, "It's been so long since… I suppose he doesn't realise that missing someone does not automatically translate into I'm having a relationship with them."

Heero tilted his head, "I've missed you too." He smiled slightly, "Stay?"

Duo sighed, "You know, Ames is just going to..." He paused, shaking his head, "Yeah. I think I will." He pulled out his phone, a nasty feeling occurring to him. "I guess you still have a pretty decent set up, even though you're AD these days. Mind if I use your rig to check my phone for bugs."

Heero frowned, "You think he'd go so far?"

Shame rose in Duo. His throat was tight as he looked down at his phone. He breathed out for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. Heero had already seen him crying, what little respect Heero had for him wasn't worth keeping. He held up the phone and looked at Heero, meeting the steady blue eyes with everything he had left.

"He knew enough that I searched up gyms in the local area because I'd had the vague thought of inviting you to work out with me at some point and drafted an email to that effect." Duo slipped out of his chair and stood, "So, yeah, I reckon my phone might be compromised." He raised a hand to massage the back of his neck, looking away from Heero's concerned expression. "I'm so stupid. I should have—"

He stopped when Heero squeezed his arm. Heero tilted his head, "Come on, you can use my spare set up. I'll isolate it from the network for you."

"Thanks man." Duo looked down at his phone. "Can I use your line to call someone?"

* * *

There were days when Hilde felt like she was going to be found under a pile of virtual paperwork. She rolled her eye and cricked her neck. She was going to give it another thirty minutes and then she'd give Wufei another go.

The soft pinging of her comms interrupted her mid-calculation and she took a moment to finish it off. It wasn't a connection she recognised, coming from Earth. She picked up. The video opened in her main monitor and she almost fell off her chair. "Duo?!"

Her immense joy was swiftly dampened as she realised that he wasn't smiling, he'd been crying. She straightened her shoulders and immediately she leaned forward to hiss. "What the fuck did he do to you?"

"I can't…" He swallowed and looked away for a moment. "We broke up. I'm over at Heero's. He said you've been worried."

"I was about to contact the Preventers and say they had a missing person." She scrubbed a hand over her missing eye. "Shit, Duo. What did he do to you?"

"I can't talk about it yet."

Hilde stared at him, he seemed smaller - both physically and mentally. Hell, he was smaller - guant almost. He'd been pleasingly chubby in their relationship, a soft kind of strong. Now? He looked almost skeletal to her eye. She pursed her lips. "I want to see you in the flesh and hug you." She raised a finger, jabbing the air as she spoke. "I'm gonna give you time, because you look like you just want to curl up and lick your wounds. I can respect that. Okay?" She glanced to the side, looking at her packed calendar and shook her head. "I can't get away right now. Can't get myself to earth, but you sure as hell… are going to take care of yourself, between now and … four months from now."

"Okay." he said softly and Hilde shook her head.

"I'm going to kill him."

"No. Don't. Just." Duo took a breath, adjusted his glasses. "Just leave it okay? It's over."

"You speak to Une yet?"

"Hilde…"

She shook her head hard, "Nope." She jabbed the air with a finger, "She said she'd take care of you!"

"Hilde, she doesn't know."

"Uh huh." Hilde dead-panned. She looked over to her second screen and brought up her emails. She opened a fresh email, "Dear General Une."

"Hilde!"

"Duo Maxwell needs to make an appointment with you." Hilde typed as quickly as she spoke. "Sincerely, Hilde S. And send!" She levelled a furious look at him. "And there we go."

"And what good is that going to do?"

"She's going to do something about him."

Duo rolled his eyes fondly. "I don't think the leader of the Preventers-"

"Your legal guardian."

"- of four months… is going to care about my personal life and a break up."

Hilde narrowed her eye. "We'll see." She nodded, "Now, you're with Heero?"

* * *

Heero's t-shirt was a little large on him, but he was glad to be slouched on the couch next to Heero and watching something mindless on the TV. The soup had been wonderful in its simplicity and - despite his damned mind replaying snippets of the argument - Duo felt at rest. His phone was undergoing a sweep and a clean on Heero's spare set up. He really appreciated Heero's patience, his careful lack of judgement and the way he left Duo to cry it out. Once Duo had gotten a handle on his turbulent emotions and finally hung up on Hilde, he'd managed to find the tracking software Ames had installed and set about cleaning all traces of Ames from his online life.

There was a moment of horror as he realised how far Ames had been tracking his movements.

Heero had stepped in, with a bowl of soup in hand and spare t-shirt and joggers draped over his arm. Once Duo had gotten changed and brought his damp uniform down stairs, Heero was ready to put it in his washing machine, setting a short wash and dry cycle. They'd ended up on either end of Heero's large couch. Duo had sat carefully, eating in small bites to avoid dropping anything on himself or Heero's couch. When he'd finished his soup, he'd taken his bowl to Heero's kitchen, rinsing it even though Heero had called after him to leave it on the side. Ames always complained about how much of a slob Duo had been, and Duo was keen not to make Heero regret letting him stay-

"I like to go to the gym pretty early."

Snapping out of his thoughts, Duo blinked at glanced at Heero. Heero was sipping his drink, his expression a little tired. Duo winced slightly, "Sorry, what?"

"The gym." Heero looked at him evenly, "I like going in the morning. You mentioned you were thinking of inviting me to go."

"Yeah." Duo sat up slightly, crossing his legs. "Um, yeah. I can do early." He glanced down at his cup, "I just thought it would be nice—"

"It would."

He looked at Heero surprised, "Really?"

"Yes. I've been thinking about going back more seriously." Heero sipped his drink, and his dark blue eyes slipped off Duo to stare at the TV. "Since Wufei started dating Tatiana, I don't often get to go with someone else. My weight training has been..." Heero's lips pursed with frustration, "Somewhat lacking."

"If you're willing to walk me through it, I'm sure I can help."

Heero glanced at Duo, "You don't weight train?"

"Do I look like I could fight my way out of a wet paper bag these days?" Duo laughed slightly. "I focus mostly on cardio and remaining flexible. Trying not to let the desk swallow me, but I have not been focused on weights…" He lifted his arms, "I can lift tiny amounts, but I haven't really gotten into the grunting area."

Amused, Heero snorted, "That's why I like the early morning."

"Ain't nobody got time for grunting at...?"

"Five thirty."

"Is that a real time in the morning?"

Heero laughed, "We used to always get up at five thirty in the safe houses."

"Yeah, but I mean... We're grown ass men now, with proper jobs..." Duo winced, closing his eyes before nodding once sharply. "Okay, I can do it."

"That's the spirit." Heero smiled, "Send me your gym name, I could join it."

"I usually just use the Preventers' gym." Duo shrugged, "Ames thought my old gym was too expensive so—"

"I won't need to join a new gym then." Heero nodded thoughtfully, "That's my regular gym as well."

"They open at 7am?" Duo frowned, sipping his drink. "I don't think we're talking about the same gym."

"They open at 5.30am for famous Gundam Pilots who ask really nicely."

"Rude." Duo chuckled and drank his tea, "So, I gotta ask –" He held up the large round orange mug, "What's with the crazy cups?"

Shrugging, Heero smiled, "I just like the shape." He pointed at the mug, "And … You know."

Duo took a moment to look at the mug in his hand and then back at Heero blankly. Heero shrugged and gestured the mug. "You know!"

"Uh."

Heero looked confused and gestured the mug again. "Look at it!"

Duo looked down at the mug in his hands again. "Nope…. Not getting it."

"Just… Look at how orange it is." Heero leaned forward, pointing at the mug again. "It's so stupidly orange."

Duo stared at him, a multitude of thoughts occurring until he blurted. "Shit, the trainers!"

"They were so stupidly yellow. Who even makes that kind of yellow for trainers?" Heero nodded, before raising a finger to wag at Duo. "See, you get it!"

Duo stared at Heero incredulously until the two of them dissolved into laughter.

* * *

_I feel_

_The glass shoes must be too delicate_

_To run through this age_

_If they fit just right, just maybe..._

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you so much for joining me here. Shorter chapter this time, I hope you let me know what you think!


	5. Who told you that you stood a chance?

**Disclaimer**: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

**Notes**: Relationships are hard work.

**Song**: Lizzo – Jerome

* * *

_I never said I was perfect_

_Or you don't deserve a good person to carry your baggage_

_I know a few girls that can handle it_

_I ain't that kind of chick, but I can call 'em for you if you want_

_I never said that you wasn't attractive_

* * *

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

* * *

_Go on, take your ass home_

_And come back when you're grown_

* * *

**Chapter 4: Who told you that you stood a chance with this royalty?**

* * *

Heero arrived at his desk earlier than normal; thanks to the lift Duo gave him in the morning. They'd had a quick breakfast together, working out a date for their gym sessions. Duo had been unusually quiet on the drive in and dropped Heero by the entrance before driving around to the parking complex. As he drove, Heero couldn't help noticing that without the smile, Duo's face was haggard. It didn't comfort Heero to realise part of the reason he hadn't been able to recognise Duo was because the other guy had lost so much weight. As Heero was getting out, Duo leaned over. "I think I'll give Friday a miss."

Heero had only nodded, careful not to look too disappointed. "Lunch though? Still on for next week?"

"Sure." Duo had only smiled tightly, "Yeah. See you at the gym tomorrow morning."

Nodding again, Heero stepped back and closed the door. Adjusting his bag on his shoulder, he walked off towards his office. Wufei wouldn't be in for another 30 minutes, so Heero took the time to sort out the mail, water the plants in their small office and brace himself for the inevitable hours of mocking when Wufei realised who 'The Other Guy' had been. He cleared his digital notice board and was reading through his emails when Wufei walked in with coffee for both of them. Heero glanced up at Wufei's uncharacteristic quiet. "Everything okay?"

"Sure." Wufei said shortly. He sighed impatiently and then pulled a chair to sit in front of Heero's desk. He looked at Heero squarely. "Are you seeing Duo Maxwell in a romantic sense?"

Caught by the sudden question, Heero frowned. "No."

"I have been informed that Maxwell has a romantic partner." Wufei curled his lip, "And that you have been seen recently making… overtures."

"Not as of last night, he doesn't have a romantic partner. And yes, the other guy I've been seeing at lunch was Duo but that doesn't mean I'm dating him." Heero tilted his head, "Why?"

Wufei's face was tired, his expression mildly frustrated. "Turns out that Tatiana works with Amadeus' best friend, who gave Maxwell's … now ex-boyfriend her number. He called Tatiana so she could have a go at me last night for not …" Wufei's lip curled with deep anger. "…controlling you."

Heero nodded, adding mildly. "I can see how that did not go well."

"It did not." Wufei sipped his own coffee and stood. "The woman tries my patience. It did not help that Tatiana does not agree when I told her you had more honour than that and that you were single." He made a face, "As she well knows."

"Ah."

"Indeed." Wufei reached a hand up to pinch his nose and sigh. "Frankly, if I were Maxwell, I would not want this Amadeus either. Tatiana made it sound like Maxwell had stabbed him and spat on his corpse." Wufei nodded, "But I know Maxwell wouldn't treat anyone with such contempt."

"Hmm." Heero hummed non-committedly. "I wonder if he felt betrayed before or after he threw Duo's apartment key into traffic after demanding that Duo choose between our continued friendship or his relationship with Amadeus."

Wufei looked unimpressed. "You saw him do that?"

"We met for lunch yesterday. I witnessed their break-up after work." Heero nodded as he sipped his coffee. "Duo stayed with me last night. Does Tatiana know that Amadeus laced more tracking software on Duo's phone than we put on the Fennick laptop?"

"He tracks Maxwell's phone?" Wufei looked up as if the information seemed to slot into place for him. "That would be how Tatiana was so certain Maxwell was with you last night." He made a disgusted expression, "Ugh, the more I learn of this Amadeus, the less I like him. Is Maxwell okay?"

Heero thought for a moment, drinking his own coffee. "I don't think so, but I don't have enough information to really assess that. He claims to be fine." Heero shrugged, "I have made plans with him to have lunch next week and we're planning on going to the gym tomorrow. He was going to come along to meet you at the pub on Friday, but he's withdrawn from that."

"Probably wise, considering Tatiana is planning on giving you a dressing down on Friday."

"Ah, maybe I'm also skipping Friday."

"No." Wufei looked at him firmly, "I will not allow that woman to abuse you. My girlfriend or not, you're my brother and she doesn't get to chase you away from our social time. I've been trying to get you to come to the pub for months! I'll speak to her today."

"Thank you." Heero tipped his coffee towards him, "Shall we carry on?"

"One more thing." Wufei pursed his lips, "I want to catch up with Maxwell. This Amadeus does not sound like he was good to Maxwell." He looked at Heero, concern in his eyes. "I'd like to make absolutely sure Maxwell is okay for myself."

Heero's smile was lopsided, "He did say he wanted to meet up, he's missed … well, all of us." A thought occurred to him, "Amadeus does not sound like someone who liked Duo's social nature…"

Adjusting his glasses, Wufei nodded, "I suppose there really aren't very many people like us out there. We make an odd family." He walked over to his own desk and began logging into his work account. "Have you seen the new report Conzec sent us?"

"Not yet. It's downloading. It would appear that Hasigawa didn't get in before you." He glanced over at Wufei. The other man was standing and staring out the window contemplatively. "Duo was the other guy."

Wufei's head tilted slightly. "I worked that out. We've got to do something about your eyes."

"It's not my eyes that are the problem."

Wufei nodded. He turned from the window and sat on the corner of Heero's desk. "Given your … powers of observation… I'd like to judge for myself if he is fine." He glanced down at Heero, "And then I will mock you. For days."

"Hours."

Wufei shook his head slowly. "He's one of five Gundam pilots and you didn't recognise him." He nodded grimly. "Days, Yuy. There were only five of us. Schbeiker has been going spare, and you've been having lunch with him. It's going to be days. Weeks, one could argue, but" - He pressed his hand against his chest sincerely - "I'm generous."

* * *

After dropping Heero off, Wufei drove home. He'd parked and was just getting out of the car when he heard his name being called sharply. Grabbing his bag, he straightened and locked his car. Marta stood on the steps just outside his apartment. "Marta?"

She pursed her lips and shook her head hard, "You spoke to your partner?"

"Yes, of course. I said I would." He frowned, glancing up at his apartment, he saw Karolina glance out the window with a worried expression. "Why are you here?"

"Because Tatiana is upset that you haven't called her." Marta looked distinctly unimpressed.

"Why would I …?" Wufei paused and raised a hand to pinch his nose, he could feel his temper rising. Taking a deep breath, he swallowed and looked at Marta. "Is she still going on about Yuy? I'm sorry you needed to come and console her, I hadn't realised I was supposed to call. I didn't mean to—"

"She's being a brat!" Marta looked even more unimpressed. "You work all day, stop bending for her!" She shook her head, "You clearly don't spend as much time on social media as she does."

"Why would that…?" Wufei shook his head and pulled out his phone. Checking his pages, he found that his relationship status with Tatiana had been changed to 'complicated'. He took another long slow breath.

"You didn't call after she made the change."

"She doesn't have a clear picture of what I do for a living." Wufei put his phone away. He looked at the street, taking the time to carefully wind down his rising fury. "Why are you here?"

"Because if you don't walk out tonight, I wanted to be here to witness a miracle." She threw her hands up in the air, "You are perfect for her. You are the best man for Tatiana. But…" She shook her head and walked in a small circle, "You…" She put her bony hands on her hips and shook her head, "Tatiana is not good for you. I can see that now." She made a frustrated noise when he started to look more confused. "You're an idiot." She yanked out her phone and made a phone call. She glanced at him quickly, as she spoke to someone else. "Yes, yes. No, you're right. He doesn't get it."

"Get what?" Wufei spread his hands, just as the front door to his apartment flew open and his cat came screeching out. "Pumpkin?" The poor cat clambered up him to sit on his shoulder, claws digging in, and hissed. He looked up as Karolina stormed out of the apartment as well. Stopping just in front of him, she shook her head at him. She was sopping wet, makeup running down her face - almost vibrating with wrath.

"She's drunk!" She fumed, "Have fun with that!" She looked at Marta, "I'm done holding that bitch's hair. Don't call me again!" She stormed off down the street, getting into her own car and peeling out of the space.

Marta stared after her, and shook her head. She turned to her phone again, "Yes. Yes. Alright. I'll update you. Come as soon as you can... I'll see you then." She hung up with a sigh, and looked at Wufei. "Look, she's very drunk now."

"Marta…" Wufei shook his head, "She probably shouldn't be alone. I'm not going to leave her…"

"No. I'll stay. You pack a bag."

"What? No, Marta, she's my fiancée. We'll talk it out."

"Hmm." Marta shook her head, "You know what she's like when—"

"If we can't talk it out, then what's the point?" Wufei spun, frustration bubbling over. She looked at him, her expression grim. He jerked in surprise when she reached up a hand to touch his shoulder.

"You're a good man. You deserve better."

"Wufei!"

Marta and Wufei looked up the stairs. Tatiana was still in her suit, but was only wearing one shoe. She pointed at him. "You!" She flung a hand in the air, almost unbalancing herself. "You don't even care!" She staggered back into the apartment, loudly sobbing.

Wufei took a step forward, but paused as Marta held him back. She looked unsurprised, "Don't think any of that is real. She can sob for days." Marta shook her head, "If you want to have any chance, I would suggest you walk out and stay somewhere else tonight. Don't let her theatrics force you into something you're probably going to regret later."

"Marta –" Wufei started, wincing as Tatiana let out a particularly heart rending wail. He shook his head at Marta, and ran up the stairs. He winced as his cat jumped down from his shoulder, and stayed outside. Tatiana was sobbing on the sofa, her face pressed into a pillow; makeup smearing all over the pale surface.

"You don't even care!" She wailed again, "It's been hours!"

"I don't check my phone all of the time." Wufei knelt down beside her, reaching up to pet her hair gently. "You know I am an investigator, my personal phone is off for most of the day. If you needed me-"

She sniffled hard, "You said you'd speak to your partner!" She sat up, "Ames is heartbroken that Heero would make Duo choose! You don't understand how hard Ames has been working with Duo; he's so broken from the war…"

Marta snorted from the doorway, "Duo Maxwell, the new clown in Cyber Crimes? Oh yes, he looks very broken up all the time!"

"Ames has been working so hard for Duo, he's given up so much of himself for that ungrateful—"

"Ames asked Maxwell to stop speaking to Yuy." Wufei patted her hand, trying to calm her. "Yuy saw their fight outside Preventers headquarters yesterday… Ames threw Maxwell's key into the road."

"Of course you'd believe Heero, it's always GUNDAM FIRST!" Tatiana slapped his hand away and drew herself up woozily. "You know what? I'm sick of it! Ames is right; you always treat me like I'm second choice… I'm never going to come first!"

Wufei felt his mouth fall open in shock. Behind them, Marta raised her hands in the air in frustration. Wufei stared at Tatiana, her eyes could barely stay fixed on him. He shook his head, and stood. "I-I don't think this is the right time for us to be having this conversation. I'm going to go rescue Pumpkin." He started to walk away, and felt Tatiana scramble up and fall into him. He caught her and gently pushed her back onto her feet.

"Tatiana…" Marta muttered, reaching forward to grab her. "Come now, time for bed."

"No. No!" Tatiana shook off Marta and shook her hand off. "I'm not going to marry the other Gundam Pilots! Ames said that Heero would make you do this!"

"Do what?" Wufei shook his head, "Try to get you to go to bed to sleep off this—"

"I'm not drunk! You don't care!" Tatiana's bright eyes welled up, and she sniffed wetly. "Ames said—"

"Amadeus put tracking software on Maxwell's phone. I don't think he's a reliable—"

"You have to choose!" Tatiana stamped her foot. "I'm not going to marry them; you're going to marry me! And when you marry me, we're going to get away from all of them!"

Wufei threw his hands up in frustration, "You've met Yuy a couple of times, you've not even had the chance to meet Winner or Barton again since last year; you don't even know Maxwell." He shook his head, his expression incredulous. "Anyone would think you were going to ask me to leave my family."

"I am."

He froze.

Marta raised her hand in warning, "Tatiana—"

"No." Tatiana wobbled, "I am asking. Your family? You never see them, you always drop everything if any one of them asks you… but you want to marry me! Well, this is the true test then. If you want to marry me, you have to request a new partner and a transfer out! I don't want you to be—"

Marta grabbed her arms and shook her. "Tatiana, it's not that easy!" She shook head sternly. "You know it's not that easy, don't put Wufei in this difficult position."

"It's not difficult! He needs to show me he loves me!"

Wufei blinked, suddenly understanding why Marta had wanted him to pack a bag and just go. He raised a hand wearily to his face, closing his eyes for a moment. He breathed and then looked at his drunken girlfriend. "I don't know what… No." He nodded and looked at her directly, "I do love you. I don't need to cut off friends to demonstrate that. I would never ask you to leave your sisters. Don't ask me to leave my brothers."

Marta only winced as Tatiana let out a fresh wail and stormed out of the room. Marta sighed, "You could just—"

"Lie?" Wufei snapped, and then immediately reigned in his temper. "No. I'm not going to lie to the woman I'm supposed to be marrying."

Tatiana's wails were very loud and Marta looked up. "Then I don't think she's the only one demanding a choice."

Wufei looked away for a moment, looking around the living room he shared with Tatiana. It was her apartment. He'd moved in. There was so little here that was his. His eyes lingered on the small photo he had propped against the wall. One of Dorothy's daft photographs from the end of the war, the pilots and Relena all dressed up. Duo was making the most ridiculous face while Heero stood making the pose he thought was a formal look. He shook his head slightly, his eyes welling. Pursing his lips, he took a moment to breath before looking at Marta. "What would you do?"

Marta's smile was bitter but kind. "I like you. You would make a good husband." She sighed, putting a hand on her hip and gesturing up. "She thinks that your whole world should shrink and revolve around her, and that's… just not how the world works." She looked away for a moment, shaking her head sadly. "She doesn't realise what she is asking isn't fair. I'll stay here tonight." She pulled out her phone, and checked the time. "I asked Sally if you could stay with her."

"You really didn't think we could talk it out." Wufei realised sadly.

"No. Tatiana is not in a…" Somewhat frustrated, she searched for the right word. "… state where you can say she will back down." Marta shrugged, "Do you really want to have to tell her that she cannot have what she wants, when she's like this?"

Wufei gave it a thought. Shaking his head he walked passed Marta, and reached into the cupboard under the stairs. He pulled out a small bag, and slung it over his shoulder with his work bag. Marta looked equal parts appalled and bemused. "You were ready?"

"No. I'm always ready." He frowned slightly, motioning the second bag. "It's … a habit from the war." He glanced at the front door, seeing Sally's car pulling up just outside. "I suppose … talking to her right now is a bad idea."

"Yes. It would be." Marta stepped forward and gave him a hard hug. "Go, eat, and maybe think about why you want to marry her."

Wufei bit a lip and hugged her back. "She knows I love her, but…" he swallowed hard, holding her to hide his face, "They're my only family…everyone else is dead."

"Shh. She'll forget it in the morning." Marta pulled back and clapped her thin hands on his cheeks. "Go. Eat something."

"Thank you, Marta." Wufei paused as if he was going to say something else, but a fresh round of forced wails began. He glanced at Marta who rolled her eyes as she stomped up the stairs. Wufei paused to fill the cat's bowl with food and fresh water. As he stepped out of the apartment, he took a moment to look down the street. Sally was crouched by Pumpkin, scratching the cat's head fondly. The damp cat meowed pathetically. Sally cooed at the cat before standing. She was still in her uniform. He walked up to her and waited for her to look up. Sally straightened and reached out to pull him into a hug. He sighed, giving up. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Sally replied, squeezing him a little harder. "I'm always going to be here for you. That's what aunties are for."

Wufei felt his throat tightened as he muttered, "You're not my auntie." He pulled back and nodded to her again. He shifted his bags awkwardly into one hand, and looked down the road for her car. He glanced down at Pumpkin and – changing his mind - knelt to quickly gather up the cat. He stood, cradling his cat in his coat. The poor animal shivered and pressed against his shirt for warmth. He felt Sally turn with him, pressing a kindly hand against his back.

"WUFEI!" He heard Tatiana call out, and felt Sally push him slightly. Not enough to move him, but enough to remind him she was there. He nodded slightly to Sally and took a step forward.

"Marta said she was drunk." Sally said, her voice low. "She thought it would probably be a good idea to get you out before—"

"I know." Wufei walked around the car to get into the passenger seat. He put his bags in the backseats. "Tatiana and I…" He glanced back sadly, "We both have choices to make."

Sally got in and started her car.

* * *

_I'm sorry, 2 AM photos with smileys and hearts_

_Ain't the way to my juicy parts_

_Boy, thank me later, looks good on paper_

_But love isn't easy, so I'll do the hardest part_

* * *

**A/N:**

Thank you so much, the response to this has been remarkable and I'm in awe of some of the comments. Thank you so much, please let me know what you think!


	6. But you about to need a prayer

**Disclaimer**: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

**Notes**: Relationships are hard work.

**Song**: Nicki Minja & Anuel Aa (feat. Bantu) – Familia

* * *

_Father, father, unforgivable_

_This is my house, you made it personal_

_It's always trouble when they go too far_

_Nobody mention my familia_

* * *

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

* * *

_Father, father, could you bless his soul?_

_He talking crazy, I may lose control_

_It's always trouble when they go too far_

_Nobody mention my familia_

* * *

**Chapter 5: But you about to need a prayer from a preacher**

* * *

Sally chuckled as she caught Wufei yawning again. "Sorry to get you up and out so early."

Wufei shook off his yawn and waved, "It's fine." He glanced around; Preventers Headquarters looked like a different place virtually empty. "Do you always arrive so early?"

"I like the buns at the café when they're freshly baked." Sally laughed, shrugging. "My team do their best administrative work in the morning. Medical don't tend to stay late unless Active have boo-boos." She jabbed him with her elbow, "So did you get any sleep?"

"Your sofa is not the most comfortable, but it was strange to realise how…" He paused, bemused, "Easy it was to get used to again."

"Mi sofa es su sofa." Sally smiled, "You can however treat me to a cinnamon bun."

"Can I now?" Wufei laughed, "Sure. Sounds about right." He checked his phone. "Heero should be hitting the showers in the gym by now. I'll buy him a coffee too. I might be borrowing his spare room for a few days."

"Tatiana does like to hold that fucking grudge. Pumpkin can stay with me." Sally winced; she bit her lip and made a very familiar sucking sound. She then hummed obviously.

Wufei sighed, knowing what she was thinking. "Go on."

Sally pressed a hand against her chest, "Not to go all Catherine Bloom up in your face…" She stopped and reached out to hold him by both arms. She drew a deep breath, "But son—"

"I'm not your son. You are four years older than me."

"- I did not raise you –"

"You were my legal guardian for six months."

"- So you could break your back being this bitch's footstool. Now I know, child of mine—"

"About this whole thing—"

"Shh, shh, shh! Don't interrupt me." – She put a finger on his lips – "I'm not going to stand by and let this happen to you. As your older sister—"

Wufei pulled her finger off his lips. "I have never thought of you as a sister."

"I don't want to see you get hurt like this. She doesn't deserve you."

"She doesn't think I'm boring."

Sally stopped for a moment, sadness in her eyes. "You… don't need to give up everything that makes you… _you_…just because she doesn't think you're boring." She shook her head, "Wufei, she's asking you to give up everyone you consider family." She pressed a hand against her chest, "While I might not be your sister, I definitely know that as your aunt—"

"You're not my aunt either!"

"- I think you should listen to my advice. It's the cold light of day now, you've slept, you've eaten. Can you seriously tell me that her demand makes more sense now?"

He stared at her for a long time before shaking his head slowly. He was just opening his mouth to say something when a purple haired woman bounded up to him and slapped him hard on the back. Sally took a step back, hand going to her gun, other hand held out in a stopping motion. When Wufei did not throw the woman over his shoulder and pin her to the ground, Sally stared open mouthed and shocked.

"Fuck you, Hasigawa!" Wufei cursed tiredly as he looked at the woman behind him.

The woman smiled snidely, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "Morning Chang, notice you didn't park in my space today… Not that you coulda." She raised her hand, inspecting intensely pink nails. "Unrelated to your petty asshole tactics, I had to get in a bit earlier."

"Oh good," Wufei rolled his eyes, he turned to Sally. He gestured Hasigawa loosely, "This is an idiot from cyber crimes."

Sally looked at Wufei, Hasigawa waited patiently for Wufei to finish the sentence. Clearly, when he calmly stared at Sally, knowing he had deliberately left them at a conversational impasse, Hasigawa rolled her eyes dramatically. "Asshole." She stuck her hand out, "Toshiriko Hasigawa. Riko. Everyone calls me Riko, except for this pompous asshole from Active."

Very amused now, Sally reached out and shook the other woman's hand firmly. "Sally Po, I'm his—"

"Sister." Wufei said quickly, folding his arms to glare imperiously at Hasigawa.

Hasigawa snorted. "Yeah? You don't even look alike."

"Racist." Wufei cocked his head, slowly smirking when Hasigawa blanched.

Sally chuckled softly as she realised that the other woman didn't have a comeback for that. Hasigawa shook her head and patted her pockets.

"Ugh. Seriously? Look my wallet is on my desk, can I owe…" She frowned and glanced at Sally, "Wait, seriously?"

Sally blinked and started to say something when she caught sight of Wufei's superior grin. She quickly realised he was baiting both of them. "You smug shit." She glanced at Hasigawa, pointing at Wufei. "Look, we have a thing where he doesn't like calling me his relation, and I refer to myself as related to him. Does that make sense?"

"About as much sense as the thing where we owe each other a credit if we manage to catch the other out." She cocked her head towards Wufei, "You're such an unrelenting dick."

"You make it so easy though." Wufei said, as if he pitied her. He glanced at Sally, "Let's get that bun, shall we? Café should be opening up soon."

Hasigawa rolled her eyes and shook her head at Sally. Sally laughed, jerking her thumb, "Coffee?"

The purple haired woman started walking backwards towards the café, "Would that irk you, Chang?"

"Yes."

"Oh, then, hell yeah." Hasigawa winked at Sally, "I was just thinking, I better get some coffee. Need something to wake me up."

"From the nightmare?" Wufei snarked after her, striding forward, "No amount of coffee is going to fix that, you are the nightmare."

Hasigawa raised her hands in a shrug, "Can't be a nightmare, Chang." Her voice turned unexpectedly soft and she looked away as if embarrassed. "You're here."

He paused at the unexpected compliment. Hasigawa smirked and held up both of her middle fingers. Sally snorted as she noticed that both fingers had off-centred stars on the nails.

"It's hell, Chang." Hasigawa leant forward, "Because you're here."

As Hasigawa walked off, Sally leant into Wufei, "I like her. I'm gonna adopt her too."

"If you came to the pub on Fridays, you'd swiftly realise you hate her. Stop being weird!" He made an impatient noise. "Come on, before she orders the wrong thing to spite me." As he was crossing the vast reception hall of the Preventers' headquarters to get to the small café, he checked his phone and noticed a missed call from Marta. He paused, dialling and signalled to Sally to go ahead. "Good morning, did you try to call me, Marta?"

Marta sounded slightly breathless, "Have you heard from Tatiana?"

He frowned, "No. Why?"

Marta cursed, "She left this morning while I was sleeping! Your car!" Marta swallowed deeply, "I'm sorry, she's…God, I'm so sorry, she destroyed it…"

He blinked, "She what?"

"She slashed the tires and broke the windscreens." Marta shook her head, "I thought she'd gone to bed…"

Wufei closed his eyes, raising a hand to pinch his nose. "Well…" He took a deep breath, "I'll speak to… um." He swallowed, trying to keep a handle on his turbulent emotions, "I'll speak to the local law enforcement… I won't press—"

"Wufei!" Marta almost shouted, "She's damaged your possessions!"

"They're just things…"

"I can't believe this! Is Sally with you?"

He glanced over to the café, where Sally sat with Hasigawa, they were laughing. "Yes."

"God preserve you." Marta sounded grateful, "I'm on my way into work. She's not at work; I've just spoken to them. Perhaps someone in cyber-crimes can give us a hand in tracking her phone; a few of them owe me a favour…"

Wufei smiled grimly, "I can see Hasigawa." He squared his shoulders. "I'll ask her to help us now."

* * *

Duo was carefully putting his slouch hat back on as they exited the gym, Heero had watched him braid his hair into a simple and effective style that fit under his perpetual slouch hat. Remembering the days when Duo had simply braided his hair and let it fall down his back, Heero was left wondering why Duo now chose to wear his hair up. It wasn't as if long hair wasn't permitted, it was simply advised against leaving it completely loose in the working environment.

Duo glanced over his shoulder, "We probably have enough time for a coffee if you'd like to stop for one?" He patted his stomach as he briefly turned to walk backwards, "I didn't stop for my usual coffee."

"I certainly have time," Heero chuckled, shaking his head, "Though you really ought to eat something as well. If you're going to work out so hard, you know you have to-"

"Yeah, well some of us sleep normal hours, Yuy." Duo jerked his thumb towards the parking complex, "I'll meet you at the cafe, just gonna dump my gym bag."

Heero stuck his hands in his pockets, his own compact gym bag slung over his shoulder. "I can walk with you."

"Sure." Duo yawned and shifted his gym hold-all higher on his shoulder. "Man, it was intense watching you lift that... I mean, like are you sure your weight training has been - what did you say - lacking?"

"Yes, I can normally lift more." Heero ducked his head, feeling a slight blush on his cheeks at Duo's praise. "I'm sure I can work my way back—"

"To being able to deadlift a bus, sure, superman!" Duo laughed and shook his head. They took the lift down.

Heero blinked as his phone started ringing. Pulling it out, he could see it was Wufei. He answered it.

"Where are you?" Wufei's voice was curt, and it stilled something in Heero.

"Headquarters parking complex."

"With Maxwell?"

"Yes."

"Hold position."

"We're in a lift." Heero glanced at Duo and clicked his fingers twice to get Duo's attention. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Duo's body snap into combat readiness, concern on his face.

"Level?"

Heero's eyes flicked up, "Coming out on sub4. Passing sub3 … now."

Wufei swore, and began shouting orders. When he came back to the phone, his voice was firm. "There are hostiles in your area. Four. Armed with basic weapons. Are you armed?"

"No." Heero glanced at Duo, who had begun to frown looking at his own phone. Duo tilted his phone towards Heero, and the screen showed that Duo's car alarm was going.

"Duo's car alarm is going." Heero relayed, he glanced up. "Lift doors will open in about 1 minute when we reach our destination. Details, Chang."

"Hostiles appear to be four drunken men, they are attacking Maxwell's car with bats and what appears to be a crowbar. There is a ..." Wufei's voice went very flat. "A civilian, she's live streaming it. I am deploying a team to meet you."

The lift doors dinged as they opened.

"Exiting lift."

"Understood." Wufei sounded like he was moving now. "See you in under three minutes."

Duo dropped his bag by the lift doors. His voice was low, "What's the situation?"

"Four hostiles, one civilian, attacking your car. Armed with bats."

"Lovely." Duo gestured in a familiar manner, and Heero followed his lead. Duo walked carefully towards his car. The rowdy group of people were laughing; the smell of spilt beer was pungent. Duo ducked beside a parked car and sighed. He looked at Heero as if ashamed. He closed his eyes for a moment, and mouthed. "Ames."

Heero nodded, his expression carefully blank. He quickly moved to get another look around Duo's car. He saw the civilian. Duo gave him a questioning look as he crouched back down. Heero made a motion with his phone as if filming with a mobile phone and mouthed, "Tatiana. Wufei's girlfriend."

"Oh shit." Duo winced; he seemed to think for a moment. "We could probably take them out."

"Backup is on its way."

"What if someone else comes before backup arrives?" Duo's expression was highly concerned, "Ames…" He paused, expression drawn in a way Heero didn't like.

Heero reached out to touch Duo's arm. It seemed to help Duo to make a decision. He watched as the fear drained out of Duo's face, and a familiar blank mask drew over Duo's face.

"Ames is likely armed." Duo mouthed pragmatically. "He will hurt someone, or get the rest of them hurt."

Heero simply nodded.

Duo gave an exaggerated sigh before making a series of hand gestures to Heero. Signals they hadn't used since the war. Sketching out a familiar ruse pre-empting a familiar pattern of attack. Heero nodded his understanding; slightly smirking at realisation he could so easily decode Duo. Without a backward glance, Duo fluidly stood and called out, "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

Heero stared at Duo's hand, as it quickly signalled how many were approaching. He got up and went into motion, just as Duo neatly spun around the one coming at him with the bar. Heero grabbed the bar as it swung down, pulling the other man with it, and slammed his elbow into the side of his head. Fairly certain that one was incapacitated; he turned with the bar in hand. He assessed the situation quickly, Duo had three facing him. Heero moved towards one who stood with his back to him, one who was easily dispatched with a blow to the back of the knee with the crowbar. Duo took out another, using the other man's bat swing against him, crunching a sharp elbow into the man's face. From behind Duo's car, Tatiana screamed and cursed as Heero turned to face the final hostile.

The last hostile snarled at Heero, dropping his bat. "You fuckin' whor—"

Heero saw a glint of unexpected metal and he jabbed toward the man's throat, while Duo dropped and kicked out his legs. The man fell heavily to the ground, and Heero followed him down to secure him against the floor. He heard the clatter of skittering metal as Duo kicked the knife away, and was relieved to hear Wufei commanding everyone to drop to the ground.

* * *

Wufei took a moment to quietly speak to Tatiana. Whatever he had said left her wailing after him as he turned on her impassively and walked away, typing away on his phone. He dialled a number and walked towards Heero and Duo. Duo was crouched down by his car, looking closely at a dent. Arms folded, Heero was leaning against the car, he tilted his head as Wufei came to a stop when his call was answered.

"Une." Wufei said shortly, "Yes. I'm with them now. They appear fine." He stared ahead, his expression carefully blank. "I respectfully request the rest of the day off as well, general."

Heero frowned; Wufei was not normally shaken by action. Yet, tears pooled in Wufei's dark eyes as he stared determinedly ahead. Heero watched him swallow hard, and dropped a hand to attract Duo's attention. Duo stood immediately, wordlessly looking at Wufei. Heero turned his gaze towards the group being led away, focusing specifically on Tatiana. He stepped away from the car, and moved to block Wufei from her sight.

Wufei sighed, "I'm requesting it because I need to move out of my ex-girlfriend's flat before she destroys more of my belongings. You've seen what she encouraged of Maxwell's former partner and I understand she's already wrecked my car. Yes." He paused, taking a breath. "Thank you. I will let them know."

Heero frowned and turned back to Wufei. "Are you-?"

"Not now." Wufei bit out. He looked at Duo, "Une says she will arrange a meeting with you later. I had hoped to do this over coffee."

Duo pursed his lips together, "Me too. I'm so—" Wufei cut him off by throwing his arms around Duo's neck.

"Shut up, Maxwell." Wufei muttered, "I'm just glad you're okay."

Wrapping his arms around Wufei, Duo closed his eyes and just rocked in the hug with Wufei. "Thanks man." He pulled out of the hug slightly to look at Wufei. "So, Une giving you compassionate leave?"

"Sure. Gives me enough time to rescue my games console." Wufei raised a hand to pinch his nose, "You'd think her sister and fiancée working in law enforcement would give her some concept of …" He shook his head, "It doesn't matter now."

Duo clapped a hand on Wufei's shoulder, "What did you do for her to want to total your car?"

"Taking Yuy's side of the argument apparently. That was enough." Wufei rolled his shoulders, and looked at Heero. "You and Maxwell have today off for compassionate reasons."

"I'm fine," Heero replied, confusion in his voice.

"Yes, well, most normal people would likely need a day or two to understand they'd almost been set upon by a drunken gang." Wufei shrugged, "Besides, if you're fine, maybe you can help me move my belongings out of Tatiana's flat." Wufei started walking away, "Po will drive us to yours to pick up your car. I reckon I've only got two cars' worth of things." He glanced at Heero, "Can I borrow your spare room?"

"Sure." Heero nodded, "We can make a couple of trips if necessary."

"Can I help?" Duo asked as he followed them. He bumped into Wufei when the other man stopped abruptly.

Wufei turned to him, frowning. "Why wouldn't you be helping?"

"I mean..." Duo smiled awkwardly, "We haven't seen each other for—"

"Like that matters." Wufei waved a hand at him impatiently, and walked off. He called over his shoulder, "Why are you dating a pathetic fool?"

Adjusting his bag, Duo blinked at that and started after him. The look that crossed his face threw Heero back in time as Duo threw his hands up and petulantly argued back. "Why you dating an idiot?"

Heero rolled his shoulders, feeling the odd tension he'd been feeling drain away. He smiled sadly as he followed them. It seemed no matter how long they were apart, some things would never change.

* * *

Wufei crouched down as the small white cat mewed plaintively. He had only ever really moved in a few personal items. He ran his hand over the cat's head and contemplated it. After its traumatic night, Sally had kept it at hers. She'd brought it over with her after taking one load of his things. Heero walked back into the apartment and took one more look around. "I think we've gotten everything you've asked us to take."

"Uh huh."

Heero crouched down with him. "It's your cat." He reminded Wufei quietly.

"I don't have a place yet." Wufei said, his voice quiet.

"You're staying at mine." Heero replied, "You can keep your cat."

Wufei straightened, taking a moment to dab his eyes on his sleeve. "You—"

"I will put up with your cat. You can clean up after it."

Wufei looked oddly grateful. He picked up the cat, and held it close. "Come, Pumpkin. Let's get your things."

Heero walked out of the apartment and down the stairs to speak to Duo. Duo looked like he was about to speak, when his phone began ringing. He stared at the screen for a moment, and held it up to show Heero. The number was an unknown number calling from off-planet. Heero tilted his head, "That's coming from L4?"

Duo shrugged and answered the phone. "Hello?" His strangely-coloured eyes widened. "Trowa?!"

Heero's eyebrows shot up with surprise. Duo blinked and listened carefully, before holding up a hand, waving it even though Trowa couldn't see him. "Whoa, whoa. No, no, I'm fine, I know Hilde's been… Heero's okay too. Yeah? No. No! We're okay. No, yes, I'm pressing- Quatre's what? No, I don't need—" He listened for a moment, swallowing thickly. "Man, I was... no, I'm fine, just... yeah, no. I'm ..." He dropped his head forward, and raised a hand to wipe at his eyes under his glasses. Heero stepped forward, carefully pulling Duo's glasses off. He was surprised as Duo's face crumpled slightly, and he reached forward to hug Heero. "No, I'm fine. I'm with Heero and Wufei. No, I'm just... I'm okay. Happy! This is happy crying!" Heero closed his eyes and held Duo, rocking back and forward. He felt Duo pull away slightly, and he took Duo's phone as the other man clapped a hand over his mouth, shaking his head.

"Hello?"

"Heero." Trowa's smooth voice was filled with concern. "Is Duo okay?"

Heero glanced at Duo who was standing leaning against Heero's car, his head hanging down. Heero glanced at the glasses in his hand. "Yes. He's had a shock today. Whatever you told him has moved him."

"I told him that we're coming."

Heero blinked, momentarily speechless.

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Quatre's booking flights now. I asked if Duo was safe in his home. We can arrange a safe location."

"No need. Duo's former lover has been arrested, along with his friends."

"We saw. How about Wufei? I understand the woman who livestreamed it was his—"

"Former girlfriend. Wufei will be moving in with me."

"Good." Trowa sighed, his voice lighter with clear relief. He paused and then admitted in a quiet voice, "Even though we knew you'd be fine, I'm not afraid to admit that watching the video was a little frightening. I think perhaps the way we always say we should meet up—"

"But we never do." Heero nodded, understanding what Trowa meant.

Trowa's voice was fond, "It was sufficient to motivate Quatre to make time. We should be earth side in a couple of days. Stay safe. If any of you need anything, please call me back."

"Of course." Heero dug his phone out, quickly thumbing through the contacts list to find Trowa's contact card. "You have my contact still?"

"Yes." Trowa paused, "I don't know if I have the right one for Wufei. He hasn't returned my call."

"I'll send it on to you." Heero blinked, "Duo doesn't have your number programmed on this phone."

Trowa's voice was matter-of-fact, "Yes. I believe he has a new number but forgot to send it on to us. So… well, we both know Quatre is terrifying when you threaten his family. We'll see you soon."

* * *

_Mmm, nobody pop off, nobody get murked_

_Nobody scream, it'll prolly get worse_

_Now I'm the curse, this is my terse_

_Before I kill 'em, I'ma torture them first_

_Mad, you keep, así yo soy bonita_

_But you about to need a prayer from a preacher_

* * *

**Notes:** ... Yeah, it's been a while. I foolishly took on too many things at the same time and had to take a break from posting. Uh, my tumblr is where you can find updates and poke me. Look for **doctormegalmania**. Thank you for bearing with me, normal service should resume... uh [side eyes nanowrimo] ... soon.


	7. So lost, the line had been crossed

**Disclaimer**: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

**Notes**: Relationships are hard work.

**Song**: Sia – Bird Set Free

* * *

_Clipped wings, I was a broken thing_

_Had a voice, had a voice but I could not sing_

_You would wind me down_

_I struggled on the ground, oh_

_So lost, the line had been crossed_

_Had a voice, had a voice but I could not talk_

_You held me down_

_I struggle to fly now, oh_

* * *

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

* * *

_Yes, there's a scream inside that we all try to hide_

_We hold on so tight, but I don't wanna die, no_

_I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, yeah_

* * *

**Chapter 6: So lost, the line had been crossed**

* * *

Wufei spent his lunch in the cafe. Sally was supposed to meet him but she'd gotten a last minute call. It was no matter, but it would have been nice to see her. He'd skipped his break to generate a slightly longer lunch break. The sandwich from the cafe was very good, his coffee more so. The hard rain outside was providing some excellent white noise. His book was just interesting enough to keep his attention away from the gossiping admin staff a couple of tables over. They were whispering about him not-too-subtly. He felt his temper rise. Wufei really just wanted to read his book and not have to be a subject of fascination.

"Poor Marta...!"

He glanced up at the name. Marta had been on administrative leave, she was due back any day soon. It had been her security credentials that Tatiana had used to gain entry to the car park. He stared at his sandwich, it was really good, but was it good enough to keep him here? He could always eat it at his desk while working. He took another sip of his coffee, and began packing up.

"Oh. Good, we can talk about the case."

Wufei looked up as Hasigawa - uninvited - slammed down her tray and sat next to him. Wufei frowned, "Actually, I was just about to—"

Hasigawa crossed her legs, accidentally kicking him in the process and gestured widely. "So, I hear you're heartbroken." She turned to look at the gossiping table of admin, "Maybe you can tell me all about it nice and loudly so we ALL can maybe go back to work."

"Wha-?" Wufei blinked and then had to stifle a laugh when the two admin both stiffened and scarpered. He watched them walk away before turning his attention back to Hasigawa, she acted like she didn't notice. "Uh. Thanks."

Hasigawa took a savage bite of her Panini and shrugged. "So, are you?"

"What?"

"Heartbroken to the point of no return, and are you going to quit?"

"Really, is that what the rumour is?"

"Apparently." She shifted again, accidentally kicking him again. He glanced down, and then shifted to give her a bit more space. She gave a harsh snort, "Apparently you're going to quit the Preventers because you cannot bear to be seen."

"Uh huh." Wufei deadpanned, "That's fascinating. I imagine you got quite excited."

"Nah, I know you." She rolled her eyes, "You're one of those duty bound ones, your broken heart is just going to be part of your tragic backstory." Hasigawa sipped her drink, "You won't quit, but you're going to be looking on forlornly all the time."

"Really."

"Uh huh."

"Hmm. You mentioned wanting to talk about the case."

"Sure." Hasigawa wiped her fingers and pulled a tablet out of her bag. She lay the tablet down on the table beside her food. "I emailed you the essentials, but basically, I think we have a potential cross over in our cases - even further than the financial link I found last time... and we should probably compare case notes if you're not too busy bailing your girlfriend out of jail."

"She's not my girlfriend anymore."

"Oh the storyline twists; I heard you were going to break her out of jail for the sake of love."

"She made her own choices. So, about the case…?"

"Oh." It seemed to genuinely surprise Hasigawa. "So, like ... you're actually breaking up with her?"

"Yes."

"But …"

Wufei was sure he was imagining the droop in her shoulders. He definitely imagined the flutter in her eyelashes as she looked at him plaintively.

"What about Friday nights?"

He tilted his head in confusion, "What about them?"

"What am I going to do for my weekly entertainment? Me and Loris had a pool going on how drunk she could get and how many different departments you'd need to apologise to on her behalf."

"You have a pool?"

"Look, you've never broken out of the five departments minimum to participate." Hasigawa tucked a lock of purple hair behind a pierced ear. "I reckon with a bit of time and patience—"

Wufei raised a hand to pinch his nose, "Shut up, Hasigawa."

"She hated Preventers, and Six-Shot-Krakowski-Minor was not afraid to let anyone know it."

"Six-shot..." Wufei repeated before shaking his head, "No. You will not be seeing her at the pub."

"How about you?"

"What about me?"

Hasigawa rolled her eyes dramatically, "Are you going to go to the pub on Friday?"

"Don't see why I should."

"Well," Hasigawa took another bite and chewed thoughtfully, "I suppose I don't need to buy you any rounds. I mean, I'm glad to have my slate cleaned, so nice going, Chang."

He rolled his eyes, "You still owe me two drinks."

"Nah."

Wufei frowned, "You're buying me those drinks."

"Don't see why I should." She finished her food and turned her attention to her tablet, "Now about this—"

"No, you owe me drinks." He jabbed the table with his index finger.

"I owed." She wagged a finger at him, "You're the one not coming out on Friday. I specifically remember agreeing to buy you drinks at the pub. No you, No Pub, No Friday." She raised her hands to wiggle her fingers irritatingly as she sang, "I'm in the clear."

Wufei rolled his eyes, "So basically, I've got to go out on pub night to collect on my drinks?"

"I agreed to buy you drinks at the pub. No pub, no drinks."

"You're anal, Hasigawa."

She spread her hands generously. "You could just not collect." She placed a sincere hand on her chest, "I'd be okay with that."

"You could offer me a drink at another establishment."

That caught her for a moment and he saw her make a small calculation in her head. She smirked at him. "Don't see why I should."

"Fine. Two drinks, this week at the pub."

He took distinct pleasure in the way her eyes narrowed as she spat, "You're bloody minded."

Wufei leaned forward on folded arms, smirking. "It's what you bring out in me, Hasigawa."

"Ugh."

Wufei laughed outright as Hasigawa sat back in her seat defeated. He didn't even mind when she somehow managed to kick him again.

* * *

Duo stared out across the river, his attention caught on the rain. His small balcony afforded him cover from it but also allowed him to sit outside, with his steaming cup. Behind him, he could hear Quatre pacing impatiently back and forth in the living room; his conference call was taking longer than he thought. In front of him, Trowa was curled on the other seat, flat green eyes distant as he drank his own steaming drink. He seemed very content with sitting quietly. With Trowa, silence was never uncomfortable. Duo could remember days after the war, when he was filled with nervous energy and Trowa seemed to be the absolute negative of him. He pulled his attention away from the hard rain, and glanced over at Trowa.

They hadn't even bothered to stop at the hotel before they came over. Their bags were in their rented car, and they had simply arrived. Duo had opened the door and the loving concern on their faces made him fall apart, Ames had tried to take them from him. He'd almost let Ames take all of this away.

Trowa seemed to sense him looking, blinked and turned his attention to Duo. His head tilted slightly.

Duo felt his lips quiver with apologies.

Trowa shook his head once, concern in his eyes.

Duo nodded and resumed looking out across the water.

He blinked when he felt Trowa's warm hand on his knee. Trowa was leaning forward, with supernatural grace, balanced just so. His flat green eyes were keen. "You have nothing to apologise for." Trowa said firmly, his voice low. "We are going to be better at keeping in contact." He frowned, his gaze dropping for a moment before he looked up with renewed determination. "You will never be lost like that again."

Duo felt the tension in shoulders seep away and he reached out to link fingers with Trowa. "I'm sorry, I shoulda..." He shook his head, trying not to let his eyes well up. "I shoulda asked for help... I..." his throat was tight. "I just thought he was ... the best I could do." He glanced into the living room, Quatre was gesturing widely with his free hand. Duo sighed, "I didn't want to be alone..."

Trowa shuffled forward, putting his drink down. He held out his hands, smiling slightly as Duo took them. He rubbed his thumbs over Duo's hands. "Are you ready to talk?"

Duo stared at their hands, watching as Trowa's tanned thumbs stroked over his own hands. His own hands looked gaunt in comparison. He breathed out, swallowed and nodded.

"I met Ames just over two years ago. He didn't seem like he cared that I was a Gundam pilot..." He glanced up at Trowa, "It was refreshing... Here was someone who didn't need me to be a Gundam Pilot all the damned time…"

Duo looked down; a frown flitted over his forehead.

"It was nice to meet someone who wasn't... overwhelmed with gratitude and wasn't there. I could just be... not a hero. He didn't know, he didn't care." Duo swallowed, "Or at least it felt like it at first. I always thought he just didn't care, but sometimes it was irritating for him when I was recognised in public."

Trowa simply stroked his hands.

"I started wearing my glasses out all the time, got a hat to hide my hair. That made him a little happier, and I lived for those moments." Duo looked at Trowa earnestly, "I lived for making him happy. When he was happy..." Duo swallowed, "I can't explain it. He was just this amazing person. It was my fault when he was sad or angry—"

He paused as a look of concern passed over Trowa's face. He felt a stab of irrational guilt, wanting to reassure Trowa.

"He never hurt me!"

"They never have to lay a finger on you to harm you." Trowa replied evenly. "Ames knew who you were, in entering into a relationship; he was acknowledging he was with you."

"But I coulda done—"

"You changed your appearance for him. What more did he want you to do?"

Duo swallowed reflexively. He held Trowa's steady green gaze until he couldn't. He looked away, taking refuge in the river water. Calmer for watching the deep blue, he nodded. "I know."

"Emotional abuse can be subtle." Trowa squeezed his hands gently. "It seeps in, until it chokes you and you'll welcome it."

"I just wanted to be happy, you know... settle down with someone." Duo stared at the way Trowa's thumb circled over his hands, reassuring but unrelenting. Duo was conscious his hands were thin. He wondered why Trowa held on. He glanced up meeting Trowa's patient expression. "I wanted to be with someone... You and Quatre are so happy. I wanted something like that for me. For Helen's sake. She wouldn't want me lonely."

"Helen?"

"My ... She was a sister at the church where I grew up for a while. She..." Duo paused, closing his eyes for a moment. Helen was less a clear image in his mind, and more a bundle of feelings, thoughts and smells. "She was all but my biological mom. The closest damn person I'd ever have. She'd probably want me to settle down and have a bunch of kids, but she'd take me with someone who didn't make me lonely."

Duo paused for a long moment, feeling his throat close. He shifted, pulling his hands out of Trowa's and pulled a knee up to sit back. He stared at the falling rain, at the wide river. Even though it calmed him before, it couldn't quite stifle the dawning rage that bubbled in him now.

"Ironic, really." Duo tried not to spit the words. "'Cause when he tried to tell me not to see Heero, I didn't realise how lonely I was until that goddamn moment. It was like I was suddenly shot. He was going to take you all away really. That's the moment I understood. He'd gotten me to stop talking to Hilde so easily, he'd made it easy to not call you and Quatre back when I changed my number ... but then he tried to stop me from talking to Heero." Duo clenched his jaw, feeling his chest tighten. "It just made it all so... fucking clear. He was going to take you all away, and leave me depending on just him." He snorted harshly, "I'm so fucking stupid!"

A warm hand rested on his shoulder, a feeling of calm blossomed from where the hand rested. Duo looked first at Trowa; realised Trowa was sitting back and turned his head.

Quatre stood, pale blue eyes serene. His hand rested on Duo's shoulder. He stared down at Duo, his expression concerned. He glanced at Trowa, who nodded.

Quatre looked back at Duo. "We aren't as happy as you think..." Quatre admitted, "We've had our ups and downs. The trials of a sincere lack of experience, but we are learning together."

He took a breath, reaching up to brush a lock of Duo's hair from his fringe.

"Don't call yourself stupid. Forgive yourself, Duo, and perhaps you can forgive us."

"Forgive you?"

"We should have looked out for you more. We're family. When I realised how long it had been since I last checked in with you, I was ashamed."

"It's okay—"

"It's not." Trowa said quietly, sitting forward and resting a hand on Duo's knee. "We're a strange family." His lips quirked, tossing a quick glance at Quatre, "But Quatre's right, our lack of experience is a trial. We didn't learn from when Heero went missing. For that, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Quatre added, "I'm sorry you've been alone with this ..." Quatre's lips paled as he pressed them together before spitting. "Ames." A ripple of rage passed over his face, as he spat. "Fucker."

The hot rage Duo had felt against himself seemed to ebb away. It wasn't gone, but it recoiled at the realisation how badly they both felt.

"Ames is …" Duo's voice dropped to a whisper, "An asshole."

"Yes. That's a word for him." Quatre shifted to sit on the arm of the chair Trowa was sitting on. Trowa glanced at the delicate way Quatre was sat, and Duo almost laughed at the quick calculating look Trowa gave before shifting his arm to pull Quatre over onto his lap. Quatre looked momentarily surprised before relaxing into the embrace Trowa had him in. Quatre glanced up at Trowa, "Thank you."

"We both benefit." Trowa's green eyes were warm looking down at Quatre.

Duo glanced away for a moment, the moment too intimate for him. Ames hated it when Duo sat too close, at first Duo had always been too heavy, and then he had been too bony. A sigh escaped him. There was a long road ahead of him.

"Ames?"

Duo blinked, snapping his head towards Quatre.

Quatre's pale blue eyes were steady. "Are you thinking about Ames?"

"Yes." Duo admitted, "He..."

"He's not here." Quatre looped an arm around Trowa for balance, and reached out his other hand. Duo leaned forward to take it. A feeling of reassurance washed up from Quatre's hand. "Any time you need it... I'm going to remind you. He's not here."

Trowa nodded and understanding, "It will be difficult... but we want to help you." He stared directly at Duo, "Ames can go fuck himself now."

That drew a started chuckle out of Quatre, "Trowa..."

"What?" Trowa's nose wrinkled, "It's true, the asshole can go shit on himself."

"That's going to be somewhat difficult, love."

Duo stared at Quatre's hand; its grip was strong and warm. Duo felt a small smile tug at his lips; he looked at the pair of them. "Thank you."

* * *

"So, apparently Maxwell's former beau is a bunny-boiler."

Zechs' voice was carefully bored, perfectly timed just as he was lining up his shot. Heero shot a further three times to make a point, making sure each shot was in a reasonably perfect line of bullet holes across the head. Securing his gun again, he took a step back from the range to level a look at Zechs, an eyebrow arched. "His ex is not what I call stable. What's your point?"

Zechs rolled his eyes, "You're no fun."

Heero raised a hand, his face scrunching up in confusion. He wasn't quite sure why they'd called him out for target practice on the second day he was back at work. While Wufei had returned, Duo remained off. Heero rolled his eyes and checked his phone again, wondering if either Trowa or Quatre would update him. They should have arrived at Duo's by now.

Noin laughed loudly, "You're supposed to give up all the juicy details." She explained to him, while lining up her own shot. "Did you really think Zechs asked you here to practice shooting?"

"Given how bad his aim is, I would have thought he was looking for help." Heero replied, broadly gesturing the targets. He made a show of leaning in to squint, "Is that a miss I see?" He made a deliberate sucking noise with his teeth. "Old age, finally catching up with you. So sad."

"That would be a tactical misdirection." Zechs replied airily. "I always try to throw off my opponent."

"Uh huh." Heero reached out, and tried to sound as patronising as physically possible. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Zechs."

Making a face at him, Zechs secured his weapon and gestured Noin, "She needs more help."

Noin made clear with her following six shots that she needed no help. Heero simply tilted his head at Zechs who threw up his hands. "Lucky shots, every single one!"

"Oh, yes, dear." Noin replied, deadpanned. "Yes, indeed. Totally a fluke." She secured her weapon and pulled off her protective gear. "Let's get some coffee. I believe the old man here owes us a round." She slipped an arm around Heero conspiratorially. "And you can finally spill some beans."

"Why would I...?"

"Because you haven't told Relena yet, and Zechs is driving me potty." Noin tossed a hand in the air, "And besides, I want to know how close Wufei is to actually getting married!" She leaned forward, whispering loudly. "Rumour has it, he's going to take her back!"

"You only talk to me when you want gossip." Heero made a face at Zechs. "You never want to fight to the death anymore."

"If you'd like to take this outside, I'd happily save the cost of a coffee." Zechs playfully sneered at him. "I saw the video, you were slow on the third opponent."

"I was not!"

Noin pushed them both toward the door, "How about we do this over coffee?" She clapped Heero on the shoulder. "But you were a little slow."

"First of all, how dare you." Heero held up a finger and then turned his attention to Zechs, "Second, I'd like to see you do better."

* * *

"The body isn't fresh."

That was all the warning Heero got before they pulled back the blanket covering the corpse on the floor. He felt the coffee and pastry he'd eaten earlier with Noin and Zechs threaten to make a return. He took a moment to compose himself before he refocused on Conzec. The crime scene was quite controlled; there was evidence of a struggle and some evidence of an aborted attempt to clean up the scene. Streaks of dried blood were mangled with poorly attempted swipes of a rag that reeked of bleach.

Heero stepped around carefully, checking each placement of his foot, trying not to disturb the scene too much. Wufei crouched down by the body, taking notes as Agent Conzec talked through the scene's forensic notes. The method of murder was unremarkable. Shots to the back of the head. The victim was remarkable. He was a high ranking Colony Apart member. The party had refused to report him missing; his family had turned to the Preventers in desperation. The Preventers, aiding local law enforcement, had finally tracked down his movements to a more extreme separatist group. A group that the Preventers had been tracking. A group who had some strange ties to Earth. Glass from the broken table crunched under Heero's foot as he crouched down to look at the smashed phone. The crime scene technician looked at him. "We're ready to take it for analysis now."

Heero nodded, glancing over his shoulder at Wufei. Wufei now stood near Conzec and was consulting with the coroner. They were ready to take the body away from the scene as well. Heero straightened. Whatever this man had gotten himself into; he'd clearly been unprepared for the level of violence that had come from his association. Wufei walked carefully over to him, gesturing that they leave the room. As they exited the building, Heero felt relief that the sun above was still cheerfully warm, the sky still clear and blue. He took a moment to appreciate the sunshine, closing his eyes and breathing the fresher air.

"What do you think?"

Heero opened his eyes and turned to look at Wufei.

"I think that perhaps the Separatists are getting more frustrated with the Colony Apart movement." Heero gestured the coroner's van, "That strikes me as a group attack. A meeting that got out of hand perhaps, and the attempts to clean up a result of a disorganised set of killers suddenly realising they'd gone too far."

Wufei nodded. "I see where you're coming from, but the rest of the scene is so controlled." He took a step back as he stepped away from the office block. "This building isn't exactly out of the way. The only reason nobody came across this scene sooner is because it's closed for I don't see evidence of people actually renovating anything."

Heero frowned, "We'll need to check into the financial records of this place."

Wufei nodded, "I agree. Locals are happy to take the main investigation into the murder, but are going to keep us in on the loop. I promised we'd feedback any information regarding our investigation into the separatists in case it had any bearing on the murder."

"They didn't strike me as a particularly financially secure group - Colony Apart or the separatists. This..." Heero looked up at the building again. "Ensuring they had this space … This would take money."

"Hmm, yes." Wufei gave a long sigh, "Which would mean working with records again."

Heero nodded, and gestured toward the car. "Shall we just go get it over and done with?"

Wufei stared into the distance, his expression grim. "I haven't spoken to Marta for a month." He shook his head and got into the car with Heero.

Heero buckled himself in, "We could always see—"

"No." Wufei squared his shoulders, "It's time to get back to work." He pursed his lips. "She's the finest analyst they have in records. If anyone can find us a data link, it will be Marta."

"All right." Heero paused for a moment, thinking before he started the car. "Happy with leftovers tonight?"

"Sure." Wufei replied absently, "Quatre's assistant has been in touch, I should be able to move into my new apartment within the next two weeks."

"Quatre really bought the apartment you liked?"

"You know what he's like. Won't take no for an answer when his guilt is running high." Wufei shook his head, "Really, you would have thought one of us nearly died."

"Hmm."

"Hmm?"

"I'm not so certain there wasn't a clear and present danger. The more I find out about Amadeus, the less I am certain that Duo wasn't in danger."

"Yes." Wufei put his phone down, "I looked into his background check-" he held up a hand, "Lecture me later about regulations, Hasigawa slipped me the file when I asked. Amadeus seems possessive. He's been warned twice about monitoring other personnel without consent."

"It just doesn't sound like Duo would choose someone like that." Heero frowned, "He wouldn't allow—"

"Yuy." Wufei was stern, "You cannot assume that Duo was fully conscious of his lover's past. Certainly, if I had known more about Tatiana's tendency to live stream criminal acts, I would have been more reluctant to start dating her. Do not judge Maxwell on this."

"I..." Heero paused as he thought, "Yes. You're right. He couldn't have known unless it was disclosed to him directly. Still, I have concerns about what this may have done to him."

"We can be concerned, but Maxwell doesn't need judgement right now. He needs his friends to support him."

* * *

_And I don't care if I sing off key_

_I find myself in my melodies_

_I sing for love, I sing for me_

_I shout it out like a bird set free_

Notes: Not gonna lie, I've had a hard couple of months and writing is my outlet. I often feel like I'm just writing into the void and then one of you beautiful people deign to take a couple of moments to put your thoughts into writing. I've wept this week reading comments because you're amazing. Never forget the impact of that. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.


	8. Breaking free from these memories

Disclaimer: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

Notes: Relationships are hard work.

Song: Avril Lavigne (feat. Chad Kroeger) - Let Me Go

_I'm breaking free from these memories_

_Gotta let it go, just let it go_

_I've said goodbye_

_Set it all on fire_

_Gotta let it go, just let it go_

* * *

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

* * *

_Love that once hung on the wall_

_Used to mean something, but now it means nothing_

_The echoes are gone in the hall_

_But I still remember, the pain of December_

* * *

Chapter 7: Breaking free from these memories

* * *

As the lift doors closed, Duo glanced at his phone. Heero had texted, asking if he'd like to meet for a quick coffee during his break. Smiling somewhat lopsidedly, Duo text back an affirmative and then set his phone to do-not-disturb mode before slipping it into his pocket. He adjusted his tie. It was his first day back at work. A week had passed, Trowa and Quatre had supported him all the while. Une had insisted on running his return to work meeting personally - a significant change from protocol, but he knew what Une was thinking. The suit and tie would help to calm her nerves.

The lift doors opened at the command level and he stepped out, showing his badge at the reception. He was quickly ushered into a waiting area, while the receptionist – a nervous looking man – dipped his head into General Une's office. He quickly returned. "She's ready for you now, Agent Maxwell."

Duo dipped his head and briefly touched the back of his hair, checking his braided hairstyle was neat, that there weren't any hair pins sticking out. His hands had been shaking when he put his hair up for the first time that morning.

He walked into the office without knocking. Une's office was a large suite, large windows, long desk, plush seats for diplomatic talks. She was standing by the window, arms folded as she stared out over the magnificent view of the park. He waited in front of his desk, waiting to be acknowledged.

There was a small sigh.

Duo blinked and looked at Une. She shook her head and walked over towards him. The years between them were finally starting to show. She looked up at him for a moment, before softly smacking the side of his head.

"You've destroyed battalions of men looking to crush you." Une pursed her lips before leaning towards him, drawing him into a hard hug.

Duo almost didn't know what to do with his hands.

"Hug me back, idiot." Une snapped gently. "That's what normal people who are basically relatives do."

"I'm so confused." Duo stared beyond her while hugging back. "How did we get from you wanting to televise my execution to here?"

Une leaned back to glare at him. Duo couldn't help grinning at her. "What? Too soon?"

"Punk."

"Mom."

"Oh, stop it. I am not your mom." Une made a face as she said the last word. She pulled away. "I looked into this incident, and into this Ames and I…" A glint appeared in her eye. "If I had known, I would have killed him myself." She cupped her hand around his cheek. "Nobody hurts my favourite gundam pilot."

"About that. You know how you hate being called mom…?" Duo rolled his eyes hard, "I was your ward for four months."

"Nonsense." Une smirked, "I'm your legal guardian for life."

"Une…" He started warningly, but that only served to make her laugh.

"Oh good, you're still in there, Zero-Two." Une turned away and gestured her plush seats. A glass pot of tea steamed quietly near two mugs. "I should have checked in on you sooner." She said, pouring a cup for him.

"I told you I was fine." Duo sat down gingerly on the seat. "I thought I was."

"Hmm." She replied non-committedly. She stared at the surface of her tea for a long time before looking up. "You know what I told Captain Howard when I took your wardship from him?"

Duo shook his head. Howard's death had been a hard time, it seemed so unfair for him to die so soon after the wars had ended. It was a shock when Lady Une had stood up in the courtroom, stating plainly she'd take over his wardship from the dying man. Duo hadn't been given much choice; the pilots still, legally, considered children … despite working together to save the world twice.

Une had saved Duo from enforced foster care, although there were days when he wondered if enforced foster care would have been much different. Une was not a … maternal woman.

"I promised him that I'd be the worst thing to happen to you." She set her cup down and leaned forward. "And I was so caught up with work, I didn't think to check this man out…" She gestured her desk, "And when Miss Schbeiker contacted me last month to confirm your status, I forgot to reply because of the Colony Apart demonstrations." Une shook her head, "I've let Captain Howard and you down. I'm sorry, Duo."

Duo shifted awkwardly, "I'm not sure I need an apology."

"You're getting one."

Duo shook his head before sipping his drink. "Not really into giving me a choice?"

"Look where giving you unlimited freedom of choice got us both." Une spread her hands, "So, dinner, next month."

"No."

"I'll cook."

"Definitely not!"

Une picked up her cup and sat back, "You recall that one time you broke your arm climbing?"

Knowing exactly what point she was going to make, Duo looked at a fixed point above her head. He was seventeen years old again. "Yes."

"Then I'll see you next month; Davin will work out the details for you." Une sipped her drink. "I'll look forward to catching up."

"You really don't have to."

Une's smile was cool. "I'm not accustomed to failing twice, Duo."

Cupping his drink, Duo sat back, "I know."

"I will also be vetting your next lover."

"You will not." Duo replied, his voice indignant, but unconvincing. "You're not going to do anything of the sort."

Une smiled indulgently. "Oh, my dear summer child." She leaned forward, "What makes you think I haven't already started?"

Duo rolled his eyes but couldn't help laughing with her. "Okay, okay, apology accepted!"

* * *

Heero leaned over the railing, looking down at the floor below. The reception area was interesting to watch from the mezzanine. The area was a quiet place, rarely filled with people and mostly used as a place of reflection. Few preventers enjoyed using it. He glanced at his phone, he was early. Duo wasn't late, maybe his meeting with General Une had run over slightly. Heero rolled his shoulders, and let his hand flop down again, his grip tight around his phone. He focused instead on the milling agents on the floor below.

The wide range of Preventers was a bit mind boggling. He could see people from Active Duty that he was fairly certain he'd never noticed before. There were a small group of the Diplomatic Corp, unusual in that the agents were generally supporting ambassadors. They looked a little out of place, their slightly lighter uniforms more suited to fading into the background.

He chuckled as he saw Wufei, crossing the reception area heading towards records while arguing with Hasigawa.

"Oh shit."

Heero jumped slightly, his head snapping to his left. Duo was leaning against the railing, arms folded over the bar. Heero hadn't heard him approach. Duo didn't notice his surprise, his violet eyes focused on Hasigawa. "Riko's nemesis is Wufei...? Shit. She always just calls him TPAFA."

Heero tilted his head slightly, "What?"

"That pompous asshole from Active." Duo shook his head, "How did I miss that? Oh course that's Wufei."

"Hasigawa is a menace, she keeps stealing our files." Heero laughed, "Wufei's only making sure she follows the—"

"You cannot defend form 29b-dash-gamma."

Heero held up a hand, "It's a necessary part of the evidence trail."

"Ah..." Duo nodded sagely, "You too are TPAFA." He sighed, "I shoulda known..." Duo shook his head and looked over the reception area, his expression comically distant as he squinted. "I'm not sure we can go to lunch any more, Yuy. I'm not sure I want to be seen with a TPAFA."

"You mean all your crim-buddies in Cyber Crime might shun you?"

"How dare you imply they're my friends?"

"Yet, you do not deny their criminal status."

"Hey, gotta put yourself in the mind set. Besides, you can't talk, Mr Hack into private school."

"It was the closest school."

"The local state was ten meters closer."

"Across the field. By road—"

"Uh huh." Duo smiled, shaking his head. "We were all rat bags."

Heero snorted. "Hn."

They stood for a while, watching the people mill below them. Heero took a look at Duo. Duo's face was drawn, despite the distracted smile that danced on his lips. The past month had been tough on Duo. It had become apparent that Amadeus' influence was deeper than Heero had really thought about. Quatre had been reluctant to return to L4, but his business could not wait. Trowa had stayed behind, taking leave from his job. He'd moved into a hotel for a while. His presence had given the earth-bound pilots a wakeup call, and they'd made more of an effort to meet up regularly.

Duo blinked and glanced at Heero, slight concern in his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Heero replied, and then nodded, "I was just thinking about... well, us." He frowned slightly, looking away. "I should have been there for you."

Duo stared at him for a long moment, before bitterly muttering. "I shoulda gotten out when he crossed my first boundary." He squared his shoulders and pushed away from the railing to turn around and crossed his arms. He leaned his back against the railing. "Should haves ain't going to do shit now."

Heero risked a glance at Duo. Duo looked pensive, momentarily angry before looking at Heero directly.

"Look, don't beat yourself up. I can't have that on my conscious too. I don't want to make you feel bad, you're perfect."

"I'm not." Heero moved away from the railing to stand in front of Duo. "Perfect doesn't learn from mistakes. I do." He took a moment to breathe, nodding firmly. "I'm going to be here for you from now on. Wufei, Trowa... Quatre. We're the only family we've got."

Duo looked at him for a very long moment, and Heero tried not to look away. Duo nodded, as if that was answer enough. He chuckled. "Heero Gundam Yuy sounds a little pretentious."

"Duo Gundam Maxwell kind of rolls off the tongue though." Heero felt relieved, and held out a hand, glad when Duo took it. "I'm going to be there for you. Can you..." He glanced down, his courage failing him now, he looked at their hands and ran a thumb over Duo's. "Can you be there for me too?"

"Sure." Duo smiled slightly, "Let's hope our dark days don't coincide though... hate to think what a Gundam Hurricane would look like."

Heero thought about it for a moment, while Duo took to leaning back on the railing again, their hands loosely joined between them. Heero's eyes caught on Duo's hair.

"Can I ask you a tough question?"

"You can ask, I might not answer."

"Fair." He paused, thinking carefully about how to ask it. "Why do you wear your hair up now?"

Duo stared at him for a long time before nodding ever so slightly. "I want to look professional in the workplace." His lips pressed together before he continued. "It's what I tell myself, but you know... you hear a thing enough times, and you start to think it's your own thought." He adjusted his glasses, no longer able to hold Heero's gaze. Heero held his hand tighter. Duo took a breath, "Ames cut my braid while I was sleeping. He said it was an accident, a prank gone wrong because he was posing for a picture... the scissors slipped and... and... he didn't mean to cut it." Duo risked a glance up at Heero, and his fearful expression broke though Heero's shock like a lightning bolt. "I... I believed him, because he was so sorry, and crying and..." Duo drew a shaky breath, dropping his eyes in shame and whispering bitterly, "You must think I'm so stupid..."

The world fell away. Heero blinked. He thought and then took a step closer, cupping a hand around Duo's cheek. He moved to embrace Duo, carefully putting his lips near Duo's ear. It took him a couple of tried to force his mouth to open and say what he was feeling. "I never want to be a soldier again." He whispered, taking extreme pains to keep his fury in check. "But if you ask me, I will kill him."

He felt Duo's chin sink onto his shoulder, Duo's arms reach around him and hold him. It only served to make him feel angrier. His vision was narrowing, Heero stared, his body stiff against Duo's.

"Can you hold me too?"

Heero blinked, feeling hot tears run down his cheek. He reached up instantly, stiff hands clutching Duo's bony back.

"You... You never wanted to kill again. Never wanted to be a weapon again." Duo pulled him close. "So I know what you mean." He pulled back slightly, breaking their embrace. "He only cut five inches—"

"That's still too much if you didn't consent to it." Heero replied, trying hard not to speak harshly.

Duo reached up, gently but firmly brushing his thumbs over Heero's cheeks, wiping away the hot tears. "I didn't think you'd be so angry."

"I know what your hair means." Heero said, his voice low and hard. "I know." He raised a hand, a finger held up. He jabbed the air between them. "He should have respected you, even if he didn't know!" Heero felt another tear squeeze out from his eye, and he had to step away from Duo. His hands clenched by his side, and he felt an old familiar feeling. It was hard to explain. It made him want to shut everything down, made him want to -

_A small, pale hand hit the glass, the puppy barked at the window even as the flames-_

Heero stood still. Staring at nothing.

Duo moved to stand in front of him, his expression sad. He pursed his lips for a moment, and then quietly he asked, "Do you need me to get someone, Heero?"

It took a moment, but Heero shook his head slightly. He took a moment to close his eyes, centering himself, breathing. He felt Duo's hand slip into holding his, and he held on for a moment, grounding himself in the warmth of Duo's hand. When he opened his eyes, he felt more in control.

"He shouldn't have treated you like that." Heero said, simply.

Duo nodded. He hesitated for a moment. "Why did you get so angry?"

Heero thought. He frowned slightly. "It was never just hair. It meant so much to you. It was a promise."

The light snort Duo gave surprised both of them. "I didn't think you'd remember that."

"I ..." Heero stared at Duo. "A lot of bad things happened to us during the war. I tried to remember the moments of peace, because I didn't think I'd survive." His gaze slipped off Duo, "I hadn't even asked, you just started speaking. I thought maybe you'd become delirious with the pain, but you remained coherent throughout. You kept going until I finished sewing you up."

"I think I..." Duo's lips quivered in a weak smile, "I think I was just talking to take my mind off your... inability to jab me gently."

Heero held up his hands, turning them, "I knew the nerve damage had always been quite extensive. I didn't realise how much until my third preventer mission... Nobody wanted to be sewn up by me; one agent even said he'd rather bleed out..."

Duo tried valiantly to stop the laugh, so instead it came out as a snort.

Heero frowned mockingly, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Eh," Duo shrugged with one shoulder, "You're not that bad... besides, lucky agent, he has the luxury of bleeding out during a mission? Some of us had Gundams to fly with broken legs!" He laughed with Heero, before his expression turned slightly serious. "Can I ask a tough question?"

Heero sobered and nodded once.

"Where do you go...?" Duo raised a hand, gesturing vaguely at his face, "When you... you kinda blank out."

Heero blinked. "I..." He paused, looking around. "Not something I can talk about here."

"Sure. That's fair."

"Are you busy tonight?"

Duo's expression blanked and then seemed confused by the change in topic. "Uh... no."

"I'm happy to talk about it. With you. Over dinner maybe?"

Lost for words, Duo blinked before nodding jerkily.

"Wufei and Trowa are going pet shit shopping for his new apartment." Heero explained quickly, "I'll have the place to myself."

"You don't have to—"

"I want to. I trust you." Heero opened his mouth, as if he was going to say more, but his phone started ringing. It was Wufei. He picked up the call, staring at Duo. "Yuy." He blinked as he listened to Wufei. "Uh, no. The cafe is fine. I'm..." His head snapped to look down at the floor below. Duo followed his look. Wufei was stood by the cafe, one hand holding a phone against his ear, the other arm outspread as if making a point. "Just..." Heero shook his head, "Give me a minute, okay? I'll be there... yes. Yes. Just... okay!" He cupped his hand over the phone, and took a step back from Duo. "Did you drive today?"

"I took a bus."

"You have a car!"

"Yeah, I dun wanna ding Quatre's car."

"He bought the car for you."

"Until I pay him back, it's his car."

"Okay, I drove." Heero broke into a smile as Wufei's tinny voice started shouting incomprehensibly from the phone. Duo's chuckle was sweet; it made Heero want to stay a little longer. "I can give you a lift to mine, and then I could drop you—"

"No, I'll drive to yours. I don't want to—"

"It's fine! I'd be happy—"

Duo's phone began ringing insistently. He frowned as he glanced at the screen. "Riko?" He glanced at Heero uncertainly as he picked up. He instantly jerked the phone away from his ear as Wufei started shouting down the phone at him. They both looked down at the ground floor. Wufei was somehow holding Hasigawa at arm's length as she tried to reach for the second phone he was holding to his head. Heero sighed and glanced at Duo. "Give me a call when you're ready to go."

"Sure thing." Duo smiled fondly, "Sorry we didn't actually go for coffee."

"Coffee was just a pretext. I got what I wanted." Heero took a couple of steps back, he held the phone to his ear, "Yes, yes. I'm on my way. Give Hasigawa her phone back."

Chuckling softly, Duo hung up and walked away, back towards his office.

By the time he sat down, his phone pinged quietly.

_A chance to talk. _

_That's what I wanted. _

_How about 7?_

_Is stir-fry ok?_

_Sure you want to drive?_

Duo glanced around, shifting his phone into Do Not Disturb mode, and taking a moment to quickly reply.

_I know. I'm glad. 7 & stir-fry both fine. Driving's fine, just gotta be extra careful with Q's car. _

He tucked his phone away, and logged back onto his terminal. He smiled warmly.

* * *

_I let it go, and now I know_

_A brand new life, down this road_

_Where it's right, you always know_

_So this time, I won't let go_

_There's only one thing left here to say_

_Love's never too late_

Notes: Thank you so much - we're back with this story. I'm taking a break from my Nano, the mini-bang has been posted and I've finished the Christmas exchange gift. I promised myself december would the the month to come back to writing Your Body's Poetry. I certainly hope you enjoy this, with the posting of this chapter, I have passed the half way point of the chapters I've written - hahaha, I've gotta get writing so much!


	9. I stumble from your juiced up promises

Song: Skin – The Trouble with Me

_The trouble with me _

_Is my troubles with you _

_Sometimes you make me feel _

_Like I'm everybody's fool _

* * *

**Your Body's Poetry**

**By Dr Megalomania**

* * *

_The trouble with me _

_Is my troubles with you _

_You'd like me to believe _

_I need no one but you _

* * *

Chapter 8: I stumble from your juiced up promises

* * *

Duo sat in the car for ten minutes, trying to convince himself that Heero really wasn't just going to turn him away at the door. Rationally, he knew he was being foolish but he couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps Heero was only motivated to be kind out of pity. His emotions were all over the place. The quiet joy from Heero's invitation had slowly been replaced by rising dread. That was why Ames had been with him... pity.

Ames had always made clear that Duo had been lucky to find him, someone who'd cared so much for such a broken, useless veteran. When Duo and Hilde hadn't worked out - a little less of incompatibility and a little more of being too similar - Duo had been at a loss. Everyone around him seemed to be partnered off neatly. Everyone had someone. Duo had failed with his 'allocated' girlfriend and Ames had been there to save him.

Duo shook his head.

That wasn't right. He ground his teeth hard, trying to confront the irrational thoughts swarming his mind. He placed his hands on the steering wheel, and took a few deep breaths. Chasing the cool air as he drew it in, he held his breath for a moment before following the warmth out.

His friendship with Hilde had been more important to him than a sexual relationship. Hilde wanted and deserved more than he wanted to give her. They'd parted on amicable terms, and he was overjoyed when she found someone who made her happy.

Ames had taken advantage of his low self-esteem. Had purposefully and strategically targeted Duo's concerns about himself, deliberately keeping him off balance by commenting inconsistently about his weight, his appearance and his habits.

Duo breathed a breath in, hating the whistle he could hear through a gap in his teeth … and out.

It wasn't fair to himself to believe that Ames was the only person he deserved. That was a lie. A lie that Ames had told him over and over while he moved to cut Duo off from everyone who could prove Ames wrong. Duo almost winced as he thought about how Ames had raged when he found out that Duo was still in contact with Hilde, the silent treatment for days when Ames had discovered that Duo had sent her an expensive gift when he couldn't make her birthday. Looking back now, Duo could see it all.

The tactics that Ames deployed to coerce Duo into behaving just the way Ames needed him to be in order to advance that little bit further into Duo's life.

Duo reached for the car key, his body wanting to retreat. He couldn't face Heero.

Heero had been through so much, fought so hard, and Duo had just-

The knock at the window was quiet. Heero was leaning over to stare into his car. Duo flushed with embarrassment and quickly got out of the car. He quickly grabbed the bottle of wine off the back seat and walked purposely around the car to Heero. Duo laughed awkwardly, "Sorry, just... uh... just daydreaming like an—"

Heero's patient gaze made Duo stop.

Duo paused, looked down, pursed his lips.

He watched as Heero took a step forward.

"I uh..." Duo took a breath and forced himself to meet Heero's steady blue eyes. "I thought that maybe... maybe you didn't actually want me to come over..." He swallowed, searching for the right words to say but gave up, admitting quietly, "Ames always said people just invited me over because they felt they had to... I got worried you'd... you'd only invited me over..."

Heero shook his head. "I was worried when you didn't arrive. I saw you in the car, and thought you might have changed your mind." He briefly bit a lip, looking away from Duo. Duo was amazed to see a flash of uncertainty. "You asked earlier where I go... when I became..." He closed his eyes for a moment, before looking back at Duo with a little more certainty. "You have concerns that I may not be truthful with you. I am being completely truthful when I say I'd like to catch up with you. I have missed you." He paused for a moment, clearly struggling with his next thought. "However, I am also concerned … scared actually… that you may have reservations about me when you understand the full extent of my trauma. When I saw you in the car outside, ah-about to leave, I was scared you'd changed your mind about knowing me."

Duo gripped the bottle harder, "I wouldn't walk away from you for that, buddy."

The relief that flooded Heero's eyes made Duo feel a sharp stab of shame.

"Thank you." Heero took a cautious step forward. "Then please, believe me... Ames lied to you. I want you here. You're a part of my family, and I know I can trust you."

Swallowing the almost automatic denial, Duo nodded and motioned towards Heero's home.

Once inside, Duo took a seat in the kitchen as Heero moved to tend to the food. He almost apologised, but held back as Heero cast him a quick smile. "I hope you don't mind it a little over done, I wasn't sure when you'd arrive."

That made Duo smile, a spark of an old memory came back. "Wufei always joked about you wanting things still breathing, so I guess it will be just about cooked by normal standards."

Heero rolled his eyes, "We both know Wufei doesn't know what actual food tastes like." The chuckle that followed made Duo feel strange. It was one of Heero's rare noises, low and warm. Duo shifted in his seat, leaning forward.

"Sure," he followed up, "Us colony orphans who have never known a stable home life totally know everything about food."

"Exactly," Heero pointed his cooking chopsticks at the wok, "I've been to actual cooking classes. Wufei hasn't got a clue about umami."

A laugh burst out of Duo so loudly and obnoxiously that he slapped his hands over his mouth and cringed. "Sorry."

Heero blinked, surprised. "For what?"

Duo scratched the back of his neck, adjusting his glasses. "Uh, I… I'm being too loud."

He didn't quite decipher the jerk of Heero's eyebrows, before Heero pursed his lips and paused in he was doing. "I didn't complain."

"No, but I should be—"

"Who says you should be quiet?" Heero challenged him, eyes steady.

Unable to hold his look, Duo dropped his gaze. "Right, I'm sorry—"

He almost jumped when Heero moved around the workbench to touch him on the shoulder. Heero's expression was cautious, "I'm not complaining, you haven't done anything wrong…" He took a small breath, "I just don't want you to feel like you can't be …" He bit his lower lip, suddenly looking quite worried. "I'm not explaining myself right, I don't want to …" he made a quietly impatient noise, "I don't want to pressure you."

Duo wasn't sure he understood, "Pressure me?"

"I don't want to change your behaviour, but I also don't want to reinforce any behavioural changes that Amadeus has imposed on you." Heero raised a hand to rub his brow, "It's important to me that you feel safe with me. You have not been in anyway annoying this evening."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to…" Duo swallowed, shook his head. He put a hand on Heero's. "Thank you for trying so much."

"I'm not particularly good with…" Heero made a vague gesture, "but I've read a bit about…" He looked up, looking uneasy. "I read a bit about relationships when I first started dating Relena, I read more while I was dating her and then even more widely once I left the relationship." Heero half shrugged, "I came to understand what makes a good relationship and … what doesn't." He made another impatient noise, and this time Duo understood the frustration was aimed at himself. "But I'm not sure how to help you."

"It's not just your responsibility." Duo replied quietly. "I've got to work out my own problems."

"But you don't have to be alone or hungry while you do it." Heero began serving up their food. They took their seats around Heero's small kitchen table, and Duo poured the wine for both of them. Heero pulled his seat in, and said a quiet prayer of thanks for the food. They ate quietly for a bit, feeling no pressure to speak. Duo ate carefully and slowly, half an eye on how much Heero was eating. He paused to take a drink. He could almost hear Ames complaining about how much he was drinking. The glass hit the table a little harder than Duo intended.

Heero glanced at him in confusion, and Duo waved.

"I'm just…" He frowned for a moment, "I'm really enjoying this, but I keep thinking that I'm eating too much."

"If I've served you too much—"

"No, no…" Duo glanced away, swallowed and then quietly admitted, "I'm trying not to eat more than you."

Mild confusion passed over Heero's brow, chased by a brief spark of fury. Heero smoothed his expression out to a careful blank face. "I see."

Duo almost laughed. "I got a lotta things to unlearn… It's going to take a while when you're as stupid as me". When Heero's expression somehow flattened, he winced slightly.

"You're not stupid. Whatever Ames told you, he's wrong." Heero said, his voice tight as if he was barely holding back the rage. "And I know, I've called you a fool in the past, but… you are a Gundam Pilot, you're skilled in many areas and …" Heero's hand balled into a fist on the table, "You're spectacular in many fields. That Amadeus has taken that belief from you…" He sighed, purposely releasing his fist and flattening it on the table. "I know your value. You don't have to apologise or…" he searched for the right word, "belittle yourself to me."

Duo thought for a moment, before giving up and nodding. "Okay. I'll… work on it. It's… hard." He gestured the food uneaten on his plate, "I've got a few … habits to unlearn."

"I will be here with you." Heero leant forward, reaching out to Duo but stopping short of touching his hand. "I want to help." He paused for a moment, thinking. "When I … I mean, you asked where I go… It's not easy to explain."

He seemed flustered to Duo, which was so uncharacteristic, Duo almost laughed. Duo held himself together. It was a type of vulnerability that he'd not seen in Heero before.

"I see the little girl I killed."

* * *

Wufei yawned and stretched, feeling his back crick. He'd worked quite late. Trowa had been quite gracious when he cancelled the pet shop… of course he had already rearranged a new appointment with Wufei. It was a clear habit Trowa had developed from Quatre. It was of course raining again. He sighed slightly; he didn't like driving in the rain but he'd survive. Logging off, Wufei stood and shut down his station. He grabbed his long coat, checked for his wallet, keys and phone. Satisfied he had everything, he locked the office up and started off to the car park.

He paused the instant he walked out of the lift. There was an acrid smell in the air. Machinery, oily, burnt out. Shifting his stance slightly, he moved a hand to hover over his gun and he walked silently towards the source of the smell. As he got closer, he was slightly confused by the sound of quiet weeping.

Taking position behind a pillar, he dipped out to take stock of the situation and was surprised to see Hasigawa squatting down by her car, hands pressed over her face. The car was parked very badly. Her car's hood was up, smoke delicately rising from it. She didn't notice him as he approached.

Wufei stared at her for a long time, concerned by the picture in front of him.

He cleared his throat.

Hasigawa looked up but didn't get up from her position. If anything, at the sight of him, she seemed to shrink. Her hands were now cupped over her knees and she rested her chin on them.

Wufei looked into her engine, immediately spotting that the oil cap was missing. "Where's your oil cap?"

"I lost it." Hasigawa was very quiet. "I don't think I put it back properly this morning."

Wufei made a sympathetic noise.

"I heard a weird thunk on my way in." Hasigawa didn't look up. "When I tried to leave, the car just… didn't sound good."

He frowned down at her, not liking how withdrawn she sounded. "Must have been a bit scary."

"I will end you if you dare be nice to me."

Crouching beside her, Wufei reached out and mussed her hair. "There you are, Hasigawa."

She slapped at his arm, "Knock it off. What are you, five?"

"Well, I am, technically number Five." Wufei smirked and stood, holding a hand out to her. Hasigawa ignored him and stood, taking a moment to brush off her legs. They looked down into the car for a moment.

"So." Hasigawa looked at him, speculatively. "I've got electrical tape in the boot."

Wufei narrowed his eyes in confusion looking at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, what? Do you need gum or something as well?"

Wufei looked at her and then the engine and then her again, "Are you … suggesting I somehow fix your car with tape and chewing gum?"

Hasigawa waved her hands at the car vaguely, "Just do your Gundam thing." When he rolled his eyes at her, she chuckled, "Or is the number thing in order of usefulness?"

Wufei shook his head and moved to close the hood. "You're going to need a new oil cap."

"Really?" Hasigawa called as she moved to open her car, then picked up her rucksack from the front seat and dumped it on the floor as she locked up. "The thing I lost is the thing I need? That's some real deep Gundam shit there… Now I know how you saved the gosh darn world!"

She walked up to Wufei and they stared at each other for a moment until Wufei started chuckling unwillingly. He looked away from her as he pulled his wallet out and deposited a credit in her hand. He looked at her once he had the laughter under control. "Where's your coat? It's raining."

Hasigawa looked away. "Yeah, well some of us don't prepare for every situation."

"Here." He began shrugging his coat off. Hasigawa took a step back.

"No. You don't have to..."

"You're going to need something for that long walk." Wufei smirked.

Hasigawa made a face at him and turned away. Wufei pulled his coat off, made a broad sweeping gesture, wrapping her in the coat and positioning himself easily in front of her. He pulled the coat up by the collar.

He took immense pleasure in the look of surprise in Hasigawa's wide dark eyes as he pulled in close. "I'm joking, Hasigawa."

She stared at him for a long moment, and he felt her arm move between them. She held up the credit he'd just given her. He smirked, took it off her and stepped back. "Come on, I'll give you a lift home." He picked up her bag. "I can also pick you up tomorrow. If you want."

He started walking to his car, pausing when he noticed she wasn't right behind him. He glanced over his shoulder; Riko stood swishing back and forth in his coat. She stopped when she noticed him watching. She looked mortified for a moment before her normal sneer locked in place. "What, Chang?" She pulled the coat close over her shoulders. "You cannot tell me, you don't swish in this coat."

He snorted softly and walked back to her. Putting a hand on her lower back, he pushed slightly. "You're such a dork."

"You're not denying the swishing."

Wufei snorted, "I think you will find it's more for standing around dramatically."

"Ah, in the wind," Hasigawa threw her arms up in front of her making finger guns. "With doves flying up around you while you're shooting two guns."

Wufei side-eyed her. "You want to walk?"

"No, sir." She walked, dropping her arms. "Can you shoot two guns at the same time?"

Wufei made a face as if confused. "Can't everyone?"

"Shut up." Hasigawa paused for a moment. "Seriously though?"

* * *

After dinner, they decamped to the living room. They sat at either end of Heero's sofa with their third glass of wine. Duo sipped slowly, as slowly as Heero. Heero stared at the TV even though it wasn't on. Duo hadn't been sure what to say as Heero told him about the little girl, her new puppy, the way the mobile suits had fallen like dominoes. He'd swallowed as he imagined the young Heero Yuy frantically searching the rubble for survivors, finding nothing but the bloody body of the pup, and then taking the long walk back to his supervisors. Duo had reached out then, taking a moment to tell Heero, "I'm still here."

Heero had blinked in surprise then. Like he'd forgotten that he was reciting the events, monotone and factual. He'd seemed to run out of steam for the retelling, and they'd resumed eating, talking delicately about other things.

Duo had been staring at his reflection in the darkened TV screen - pinched cheeks, eyes too wide apart - when Heero suddenly spoke.

"I was congratulated on a job well done."

Duo looked up. Heero was still staring towards the TV, steady blue eyes distant.

"It didn't feel like a job well done. I had met the mission objectives, but the civilian casualties didn't matter to them. When they found out I'd buried the puppy, they were confused. I wasn't supposed to mourn a meaningless thing. I couldn't explain why I'd done it. I thought I'd failed the mission despite meeting the objectives." He took a slow breath. "I tried to kill myself, and then failed at doing that." One eyelid wavered; an expression that Duo almost recognised from the war flickered over Heero's face. Heero turned his head fractionally to look at Duo. "That's where I go sometimes. Back...Back to the girl. She's screaming. Her room is on fire. The fire is too much for me. I can't… can't save her."

He licked his lip, hesitating before nodding firmly. Mind made up, he turned toward Duo.

"When I heard that Amadeus cut your hair, I thought that he could have cut your throat. I would have been too far away. I couldn't have saved you either." He swallowed. "And I... I am frightened by that idea."

Duo didn't know what to say, he could only shuffle a little closer - putting the glass carefully on the table - and reach out to touch Heero's arm gently. "I'm... sorry. I didn't want you to be worried."

Heero stared at Duo's hand for a long time before slowly cupping his hand over Duo's. "When I... I was ... sectioned." He stopped. Took a moment to gather himself. "I knew I was a danger. I wasn't able to discern what was real and what wasn't. When Relena left me, I lost my own purpose and didn't know how to feel. I'd become paranoid that Relena was under constant threat and convinced I was the only one who could protect her. It was okay that we weren't together as long as I could make sure I was protecting her." He raised his eyes to meet Duo's. "My time in hospital helped me to separate that obsessive thinking from what I rationally know. When I get stuck in those intrusive types of thoughts, it helps..." He squeezed Duo's hand. "It helps to be grounded."

He leant forward to put his glass down and turn towards Duo, curling a leg under him but not letting go of Duo's hand.

Curious, Duo let Heero take control of his hand. Heero turned it palm up, and traced his fingers across Duo's palm gently.

"I breathe, then I look for things I can see, touch, hear, smell and taste." A finger traced the worn lines of Duo's palm, over an old scar slowly as if committing it to memory. "Earlier today… I appreciate you letting me come back to myself. Wufei's learnt to be quiet, but..." Heero snorted softly. "Everyone else thinks I'm ignoring them and just shouts louder." His steady blue eyes flicked up, meeting Duo's with a fleeting warm look before returning to his study of Duo's palm. Another scar traced with a reverence that Duo didn't believe he deserved.

"How..." He licked his dry lips, almost cringing at his voice. "How does the grounding thing work?"

Heero didn't seem to mind the interruption. A gentle smile surfaced briefly. "Breathe in."

Duo waited.

Heero looked up, a smirk patiently on his lips.

"Oh!" Duo breathed in.

"Hold two three four..." Heero's voice was low. "Out two three four... in two three four..."

Duo got the hang of the breathing once he let his eyes close. The gentle pressure of Heero's fingertips, the firm grip on his wrist. He was held in place, and Heero's low voice paced his breathing.

"Open your eyes, five things you can see."

Heero's watch was matt black, functional but stylish. The wine in Heero's glass was noticeably lower than Duo's. The rug was weirdly colourful for the room, like Heero hadn't picked it but had kept it anyway. The street light caught on the wet red leaves outside the window. Heero's hair still looked like it defied all brushes and yet was neat in its disorder.

"Breath in, hold, breath out... Four things you can touch."

He wiggled his toes; the rug was soft, thick pile. His knee was planted in the cushion, far too soft to ever provide support. The metal of his cross, warm under his shirt. He lifted his other hand and touched Heero's knee, the material of his trousers flexible but practical - tough enough that Heero could scrape along the floor and not worry his trousers would rip.

"Breath in, hold, breath out... Three things you can hear."

Duo let his eyes close again. The faint drip of water from the kitchen - Heero had a leaky tap. Outside a motorbike drove past. Somewhere in the room, an old analogue style clock ticked. He opened his eyes, surprised that Heero would have such a thing.

"Breath in, hold, breath out... two things you can smell."

Without meaning to, Duo's nose wrinkled in amusement. He could smell the wine, heavy on both of their breaths. He closed his eyes, trying to isolate another smell. He caught something - both familiar and out of place - and leaned forward slightly. Heero's cologne, utterly unfamiliar but somehow very him, nothing like the grease and sweat he used to smell of – it was a memory of something he knew he'd probably never smell again.

"You look sad." Heero said softly, causing Duo to open his eyes with a snap. "Sorry. Breath in."

Duo took a slow breath in, holding on to Heero's steady blue gaze.

"Hold and... Breath out." Heero returned his attention to Duo's hand. "One thing you can taste."

Duo stared, his lips parted. When Heero glanced up, he felt his cheeks flush hot and he snapped his attention to the table. "The wine."

It was momentarily confusing for him to see the quick quirk of Heero's eyebrow, the way his blue eyes danced off somewhere low on Duo's face to the wine and then his expression smooth out to something warm. "You don't have to tell me," he said quietly. "It's more for you..."

"Well." Duo rolled a shoulder, his face feeling red. "I never lie... ain't nothing else I can taste."

The laugh that barrelled out of Heero was a surprise; Duo looked at him in slight alarm. Heero sobered almost immediately, "Sorry, that's... that's more like the Duo I remember." He chuckled and gave Duo's hand one more squeeze before letting go. "I'm glad... I missed the you I remember." He leaned forward to pick up his wine and took a deep gulp, his tongue chasing drops as he carefully put the glass down. Steady blue eyes dipped again and Duo felt something twist in him as he realised Heero was looking at his mouth again. Felt his breath suddenly catch as Heero licked his lips slowly again. Couldn't help himself as he ran the tip of his tongue over the edge of his mouth slowly to watch how Heero would react. Was blown away as Heero's eyes fractionally unfocused as he sucked his bottom lip in.

When Duo couldn't stop the slight quirk of a smile… the spell was broken. Heero's eyes refocused, slipped off him. Duo didn't know what to say, noticing how Heero seemed to swallow. He reached for his glass and paused when he realised his glass was empty. "I'll…" he cleared his throat, standing. "Uh, I'll get more wine."

Heero stood, a light sway in his stance.

Duo stretched his back. "I think maybe I gotta call a cab."

"Why?" Heero asked him, warily. "Is it-?"

Duo chuckled. "No. I drove here… and it's been a while since I drank so much… and uh…" He raised a hand to his head. "Yeah, I'm kinda drunk now…"

"Oh…" Heero turned to look out the window. "It's raining, you should… uh…"

Duo got up and joined him by the window, staring out in the darkness. The street light caught on the beautiful red leaves just out the window, but it was Heero's expression that caught his attention. He turned to look at Heero, who was smiling lazily, dark blue eyes suddenly intense. "You should stay over."

Duo blinked. "Wufei's got the spare room. He might be back tonight." He wrinkled his nose. "And I'm too old for your sofa, bud."

Heero rolled a shoulder a little too nonchalantly. "I've got a king-size bed."

It made Duo laugh and pull the empty glass out of his friend's hand. "Uh huh. Okay, bud. No more drinking for you. Or for me." He put it down on the table gently and straightened. "I'm gonna call a cab."

"Why?" There was a shade in Heero's voice, like he was hurt. "We used to sleep together all the time."

"We were teens on the run from the authorities." Duo wrinkled his nose. "Now we're—"

"You're not too old for the sofa." Heero frowned like he'd thought something unpleasant. "You'd take him, you know that, right? You could lay him out at any time." His breath hitched, jaw working for a moment. "He shouldn't have done that to you. Made you think you were less." Heero took a step forward. "He shouldn't have touched you, shouldn't have touched your hair… I should have been there for you! I should have protected you!"

Duo straightened and moved to grab Heero by the arms, shocked by the sudden fever in him. It must have shown on his face, because Heero stilled instantly and recoiled, stepping away from Duo. He raised a hand to pull nervously at his hair and shook himself.

"I'm sorry. A cab. Yes. I… I can call you one. Uh." Heero patted his pockets. "Phone." He pointed at the kitchen and then moved before Duo could say anything.

Duo looked down at the table, thinking hard about what just happened. It was obvious despite his drunkenness that Heero wanted him. Wanted him in a way that reminded him of how Ames had wanted him at first. Would it be so bad? Heero was just… not Ames. If Heero got what he wanted from Duo, maybe they could keep this. Duo looked around - the dinner, the conversation, the… right feeling, not constantly on edge, just… togetherness that wasn't dependent on anything else. It wasn't like he wasn't used to it. Sex was just a thing and Heero was… Heero wasn't Ames. It would be different.

He grabbed his own glass and necked it.

He put the glass down firmly when Heero came back. Heero was talking on the phone and reached out to tap Duo on the shoulder, holding his phone forward apologetically. "I don't know your address."

Taking the phone, he calmly stared at Heero while speaking clearly. "Hi? Yes. I don't need a lift, thanks. I've changed my mind. Yes, please cancel the cab."

He looked down at Heero's phone as he hung up, the brief flash of his background – some geometric soothing image – enough to steady his nerves.

"That's okay, right?" Duo handed the phone back. "You're right, I'm okay to sleep over." He smiled hesitantly at Heero's surprise. "That is… if the offer is still there."

Heero's mouth closed with a snap, he nodded twice hard and then looked around. "Wufei's got a futon rolled up—"

"More wine?"

There were few things that made Heero Yuy nervous. Duo enjoyed the brief flash of uncertainty in Heero's expression, but he also was moved to step forward to throw his arms around Heero's neck. "I'm not mad at you. I just… we're both a little drunk, but maybe that makes it a little easier."

Heero stiffened for a long moment, melting into the hug once he realised Duo wasn't going to simply let go. Duo's eyes shot open as Heero ran strong hands over his back, before settling somewhere above his hips. "You should be mad."

"Maybe."

They looked at each other, very aware of the other's lack of sobriety. Duo breathed out for a moment.

"Maybe." Duo moved forward, pressing into the hug. His voice low. "Maybe I just want a friend who's there for me again. If you want me, I'm…" He pulled back to look at Heero helplessly. "I'm yours."

Heero blinked, realisation setting in. "I'm… I'm not." He blinked again. "My friendship isn't… I'm not asking you to…" He seemed to crumble a little inside, pulling away from Duo and sank down to sit on the floor. "Oh shit."

Duo dropped gracefully down to his knees, swaying a little on his landing. "Uh… are you okay?"

"Look…" Heero raised a hand to rub his forehead. "I'm really drunk".

"So am I." Duo laughed at the abrupt statement.

"No, I mean, I'm really drunk. And you're drunk too."

"Uh huh."

Heero swallowed, "So I'm just gonna say it… you're…" He seemed to struggle to find a phrase that would fit. He shook his head. "Fuck it, you're shit hot, like…" Heero looked up for a moment, searching for the right words. "Like…" he gave up and leant forward to whisper. "Like… please fuck me, you're that hot."

Duo felt a red hot flush hit his cheeks and he swayed as he moved to whisper, "so are you."

"But you… you just got out of a terrible place, and you need a friend." Heero glowered a little, jabbing himself in the chest. "And I'm gonna be that friend. And you… you don't need to sleep with me for that friendship. I'm here. I'm gonna be your friend. You don't have to… sleep with me, if you don't want to… right now."

A sickly wave of relief and sadness washed over Duo and he felt himself welling up with gratitude. He looked away for a moment, trying to steady himself before looking back at Heero. "But if… If I change my… If I fix my… if I change my mind, would… will you still be my fri… could you give me a chance?"

Heero's smile was wonky. "If you want to take a chance on me." He leaned forward again. "I never realised how beautiful your eyes are."

The helpless adoration in Heero's voice made Duo swallow, a little joy in his heart… but it was soon overshadowed by a brutal memory. He winced slightly, and pulled back. He was so sorry that he couldn't hide the relief in his voice. "You're not mad?"

Heero didn't seem to understand, and Duo was glad. Heero shook his head carelessly, "No. I always thought they were a weird blue but your eyes are this intense violet almost… I knew, but I don't think I really appreciated this shade of…" His brows pulled together slightly as his expression turned to confused concern. "Why would I be mad?"

"We're not gonna have sex tonight. And that's okay, right?"

"Uh…" Heero's confusion grew. "Yes?"

Duo found himself tensing, his lips pressing together. Heero was quite drunk, his usually steady blue eyes slowly tracking side to side as if he was trying to unlock a secret in his mind. Something clicked into place and he looked at Duo with shock. "Are we… Did Amedeus…" He stopped, looking to one side for a long moment. "Would it help if I was less drunk?"

Something loosened in Duo and he deflated slightly. "Yes?"

"Uh…" Heero's blue eyes weren't focusing well. "Coffee or… sleep?"

Even the mention of the word provoked a yawn in Duo. Heero chuckled lightly as he took that as an answer.

"Yes. Sleep. Sleep is a good idea." He slowly got up to his feet, swaying as he did and held out a hand to help Duo up. They stared at each other for a long moment, before Heero grabbed one of Duo's hands and walked on. "Let's go to bed. You can borrow another tee-shirt."

They staggered all the way up the stairs and Duo marvelled slightly at the wide, high bed.

"Relena," Heero said by way of explanation. "Relena always had huge beds, and when I moved in… I thought, oh, a sing-single bed will do… but then I kept falling out."

The mental image of Heero Yuy – Gundam pilot – falling out of bed made Duo snort with laughter.

Heero shrugged. "I'd forget… so I got a huge bed. But…" He swallowed and glanced at Duo. "If you want me to uh… sleep on the floor, I can."

"You would, wouldn't you?" Duo looked at him and curled his fingers around Heero's hand, feeling his whole body relax. "Nah, it's okay, bud." He smiled warmly, relieved at Heero's wonky smile. "So, how do you get in? Do you have a step ladder?"

* * *

_I stumble from your juiced up promises _

_Can't believe what I forgave in you _

_Too scared by what you think I'm living for _

_So distorted _

Notes:

Thank you for reading this.  
So it's been a while. Not going to gloss over it. My work has killed every bit of creativity I had, I'm not in a great mental place as a result and I'm still working on bringing back the spark. Posting is and will continue to be whenever I feel like opening myself up to sharing this story beyond my long suffering beta.  
Comments which imply I should be posting faster do not help.  
If anything, it makes me feel less like writing because it becomes a form of work and anything... ANYTHING that makes me think about work, I avoid. [briefly climbs on soapbox] This isn't content you're paying for, and if you feel like I owe you more regular updates, feel free to pay me sufficiently enough to replace my real life job. If you don't feel like paying me enough to make this my full time job, then the next time your fingers itch to comment anything along the lines of "post faster." or "did you forget about this?"... do me a favour and walk away from the damned keyboard.  
The last time I got pissed off with fanfiction writing because of some ass expecting me to 'post faster', I stopped writing for 10 years. Check it out, Fade to Black on - 10 year gap between posting and completion. This is not an idle threat. I'm not in a good place at the moment, and I feel it necessary to put it out there and remind you: Fanfiction is freely shared content that is created through love. Frequency of posting is quite often a indication of my mental state.  
[climbs off soap box]  
9 out of 10 times, comments are wonderful. You are wonderful people, and I try to remember there's only the occasional entitled bastard. Thank you if you've read these notes as well.

I don't know if I'm going to continue updating things to - I have no control over the comments posted here, I can't moderate them before they are public and posting is a general pain in the ass. Consider this fair warning. I am unlikely to continue updating the story here, and if you'd like to finish reading it - please go to Archive of Our Own - look me up, you'll find the rest of the story there.


End file.
